Obama wins. Romney
loses. It’s never that simple in such a
consequential election. When worlds
collide like they did last night, there is collateral damage. There is also the possibility of new
creations being born from the collision.
Obama wins. Romney
loses. Who else won and who else lost in
Cataclysm 2012?
Winners
Poll Dancers: Polling works. All of the polling experts were right and all
of those who pretended to be polling experts were wrong. The over and under-sampling hysterics by
party affiliation were just that – hysterics, without a basis in math. It’s no wonder the Right thought Mitt’s tax
and spend numbers added up to a balanced budget. They believed math to be a theory, worthy of
continuing study instead of settled science.
On November 6th, the polls oversampled Obama supporters and
made Nate Silver and Co. seem like geniuses.
It will be harder to doubt their prognostications in 2016.
Marco Rubio: The GOP got crushed by the Latino vote. Scarcity in the marketplace drives price and
value, so Republican Senator Marco Rubio with his Hispanic roots just got more
valuable inside his party. This guy will
be the face of the franchise for the next 4 years in a transparent effort to
proof that the GOP is a safe haven for Latinos.
This is a variation on “Hey, some of my best friends are Hispanic!” Better hope no one reads your policy
positions.
Bill Clinton: The Explainer in Chief campaigned his way
back into the limelight and put the 2012 South
Carolina charges of playing racial politics far
behind him. You have to wonder how many
reincarnations this guy has. He gives
hope to every discredited politician that they can be a second, third and
fourth act. He also gives hope to his
wife that should she choose to run in 2016, he might not screw it up.
Big Bird: The Big Muppet got an 11th hour
reprieve from the budgetary gallows on Election Night. His stay of execution should last until the
next cycle, but you never know if Obama will bargain his life away in exchange
for Medicare concessions.
Community Organizers: This is the second election cycle in which a
good ground game beat a well-funded aerial assault. Maybe it’s time to imitate the organizing
techniques instead of belittling them.
Losers
Sheldon Adelson: $100 million doesn’t buy you what it used to
in politics. This cartoon character
bankrolled Newt Gingrich and ended up with nothing but a garage full of signed
first edition books and Gingrich autobiographical DVDs. Then he served as the Republican ATM in
Chief, all in a vain attempt to purchase the Presidency. To paraphrase world famous comedian Mark
Sarian, Adelson put $100 million on red, but it came up Black. (Runner Up: TV Ads)
Donald Trump: While the Romney brand took a hit within Tea
party circles, Donald Trump’s brand took perhaps the biggest hit. On the next Celebrity Apprentice, he could
play the Gary Busey character in all of its delusional and erratic glory. When you are a billionaire that tweets on
Election night that we should start “a revolution” because your candidate lost,
you have moved into the realm of cultural asterisk.
God: It seems as though every candidate who
publicly embraced God and blamed Him for all the bad and praised Him for all
the good in the U.S.
had a rough Election Day. Apparently,
the louder you shout about God, the more suspicious your motives become. If memory serves, when God came to Earth as
flesh, He came as a humble carpenter, not as a millionaire with political
aspirations. God could use a makeover
for 2016. A lower profile might serve
Him well. (Runner Up: Freedom from
Jack Booted Thugs Stealing your Churches in the Dark of Night and Replacing
Them with Secular Houses of Worship)
The Climate: The science of global climate change was
never seriously discussed by either candidate this election cycle. It took a hurricane 800 miles wide landing in
New York City
the week before the election for the subject to even be broached in the
national media. Weather is getting more
extreme; the ocean temperatures are rising; the glaciers are melting. These are not theories. These are facts. The cause can be debated and the possible
actions by governments can be debated, but not in the 2012 cycle. The climate became the 3rd rail of
the campaign, and for that, we’re all losers.
Crazy: Richard Mourdock, Todd Akin, Joe Walsh and
Allen West go down in defeat. Last
election, it was Christine O’Donnell and Sharron Angle. 2008 it was Palin. Crazy raises money, but it doesn’t look much
like a winner on Election Day anymore.
Honorable Mention: Chris Christie was both winner and
loser. He won because Sandy forced him to become a bipartisan icon
in the face of tragedy. That could help
him rise above the crowded field of partisan warriors in 2016 when the country
will long for a post-partisan uniter.
Christie lost because the GOP is actively seeking a scapegoat to explain
their unexplainable loss to a commie socialist from Africa,
and his bear hug embrace of the Democratic nominee a week before the polls
opened did not endear him to the wackos who hold sway over the primary process
in the Republican Party.
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