Tuesday, May 8, 2012


Former GOP contender for the 2012 nomination and conservative firebrand Rick Santorum announced his ringing endorsement of his rival, Mitt Romney, and by “ringing”, I mean “tinkling” not “clanging”. Santorum wanted to be sure that his endorsement capitulation made the maximum noise and moved as many voters as possible into the Romney column.  So enthused was Santorum that his statement was released in the middle of the night via email to dozens of supporters.  Rumor has it that Santorum initially wanted to communicate his grudging support via a text message to a wrong number, but was convinced otherwise by his anxious staff hoping for another bite at the apple in 4 more years.

No joint appearances are scheduled, since these guys actually intensely dislike one another.  The endorsement deed, with one soft and dispassionate click of the “Send” button, is finished. 
Romney, who was once called by Santorum the “worst possible candidate” to face Obama in the fall, graciously accepted the endorsement with a shrug of his shoulders and a wry smirk.  “I am proud to have Senator Santorum in the camp of people who are not against me,” Romney likely muttered under his breath, right before one of his servants clicked the “Delete” button.  No doubt Santorum’s future emails will be routed directly to Mitt’s spam folder.

Here is the original text of the email endorsement announcement, as WikiLeaked to MSRP:

From:       Santorum for a Change
RE:          Endorsement of Someone Other Than Me for President 2012

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE (but really no hurry)

May 7, 2012 3:16 AM

I would like to announce that Mitt Romney will be the nominee of the Republican Party in 2012, and you can vote for him if you like.  I can’t stop you. 
Mitt Romney embodies everything that true conservatives are looking for in a candidate this year.  For starters, he is not a Muslim and never has been as far as we know.  Also, you can tell that he was born in this country just by looking at him.  Finally, he is not currently the President and is not registered at this time as a Democrat.  This makes him uniquely qualified to not be Barack Obama.
So, this is the endorsement. 

Santorum has not committed to actively campaigning for Romney this fall.  He said that he intends to spend more time with his family and continue his important work in abolishing the snob-producing machine that is public education in America. 

At least I have some hope that Ron Paul will stick to his primary positions and not endorse Romney.  Like the majority of Americans, I disagree with Paul’s academic orthodoxy to libertarian principles in practice, but also like most Americans, I appreciate someone who doesn’t pretend to like the candidate they pilloried for 8 months just for appearance's sake.

I will add that Santorum had the good sense to soft pedal his endorsement, thereby making his lie about backing Romney less egregious.  Gotta respect that.  He has to pretend he supports Romney, but he doesn’t have to pretend he likes it.  Bravo, Rick.

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