Entitlements

Everything that is wrong with American politics can be summed up by this excerpt from Politico:

Kevin Costner is as loyal to his films as he is to some friends -- and disappointed when that isn't reciprocated. Often incorrectly identified as a Republican, he recalls being neglected by the man he helped run for president: "I voted for Obama and actually went off and stumped for him in Colorado. Then I never heard from him."

The sense of entitlement is stunning.  The expectation of quid pro quo is alarming.

Newsflash, Kevin.  Obama owes you nothing personally, and to expect something is unseemly.  I am actually glad that he has ignored you.  As more and more money pours into campaigns because campaigns need more and more money to compete, more contributors will look for recognition and exalted status.  I hope they get the cold shoulder.

The same goes for the Koch Brothers.  The same goes for Sheldon Adelson.  The same goes for George Clooney.  If your guy wins and you get invited over for a state dinner, congratulations.  Just don’t expect preferential treatment in terms of policy or valuable private time.

Obama might raise more money if he did kiss Costner’s ass.  He could use an extra $10,000 to fund a get-out-the-vote phone bank in Ohio.  So what if he takes his eye off the ball to play a little hoops with Costner or hang out at his movie set.  I don’t know, maybe Obama’s, and any other politicians’ time, could be better spent with experts in economics, or science, or international affairs.  Maybe that time would help his decision making when he is presented with new challenges that were not foreseen when he ran for office.

I am not talking about getting to know people on a personal level, trying to understand their problems, their issues.  That’s politics.  I am talking about only getting to know the problems and issues of those with the largest checkbooks at the exclusion of others. 

    

This is why private money needs to be removed from politics.  Kevin Costner, and Koch, and Adelson, and Clooney may feel entitled after they hand over their money.  Once they get that feeling, it will never go away and it will only grow more urgent. 

If you give a mouse a cookie…

Kwame Brown's Slam Dunk

Here is some news you can use, courtesy of the crack staff at MSRP: 

Dateline: Washington D.C.

Former District of Columbia Council chairman Kwame Brown resigned from office earlier this week and on Friday, he plead guilty to lying on a bank loan application and violating city campaign finance law.  Brown, now with a felony conviction on his resume, was immediately anointed by the D.C. Democratic Party as the front runner for the city’s mayoral nomination.

“He’s finally got some street cred,” said Michael Jordan, the man most responsible for bringing Councilman Brown to Washington in 2001.  “He was not a good draft pick, but he’ll make a hell of a mayor once he gets out in 6 months.”

One of Brown’s biggest supporters is sure to be former mayor, turned felon, turned mayor Marion Barry, whose rise from the ashes of city politics has been well documented. 

Speaking from the steps of the District secondary school named in his honor, Marion Barry High, the current Ward 8 Councilman said, “At one time when I was behind bars, I thought that returning to D.C. politics was a pipe dream.  But I beat the odds.  America loves a comeback.”

Brown’s conviction completes an historic fall from grace.  Only 2 weeks ago, Brown defiantly proclaimed to the press, “I am go-go.  To the media, you’d better get that right.”  While no one has any idea what that means, go-go is assumed to be very, very good and city residents latched on to the new catch phrase.  T-shirts with the saying “I am go-go – Brown 2015” were selling briskly from street vendors. 

There are detractors, however.  T-shirts with the saying, “I am go-go…ing to prison” – Brown 2012” were also selling well, mostly to residents of the surrounding suburbs of DC.

Brown may face stiff competition from former D.C. Council member Harry Thomas Jr. who was convicted of embezzling city funds in 2011 and is currently serving a three year sentence in federal prison.  Thomas' financial background may help him be a more prodigious fundraiser when he is released in 2014.

Former Mayor Adrian Fenty, sensing an opportunity for a comeback of his own, was arrested yesterday for shoplifting in an attempt to raise his stock in the upcoming mayoral race.

The D.C. Republican Party could not be reached for comment because there is no D.C. Republican Party.

Next Target Acquired: Labor Day

Now that Wisconsin residents have ushered in a new era of anti-labor arrogance, it is time for them to set their sights on repairing the damage of union influence on Real America.  A letter writing campaign is just the beginning of a concerted effort to organize opposition to labor advances.  I clipped this example:

Letter to the Editor, Wisconsin Weekly Badger:

Now that unions are dead, it’s time to go after the havoc they have caused the U.S. economy during their past century of unregulated power.  Thanks to our brave Governor Walker, here in Wisconsin, the last vestige of union influence has been killed and buried beneath the end zone at Lambeau Field.  With no one left to stop our march to freedom, we have to work tirelessly to undo the damage they have wrought.  I believe we have 6 specific targets and I urge our lawmakers to act while the political wind is at our backs. 

1.       Unions brought us child labor protections, protections that while well-intentioned, gave birth to a lazy and entitled class of youth without the proper backbone for a life of labor.  Every wonder why we have so many chiropractors in this country?  Weak backs.  It is past time that our kids receive the gift of learning in the real world, instead of in indoctrination factories masquerading as public “education”.  When children work, they learn the Judeo-Christian values of obedience, respect for authority, and repetition.  We owe it to our kids to put them to work.  Imagine a world where daycare becomes a center of productivity and profitability instead of a drain on family finances. 

2.       The unions brought us the scourge of a minimum wage, a government mandate that distorts the free market principle of job creators being able to buy the most labor for the least dollars.  How much cheaper would the McDonald’s Value Menu be for hungry Americans if workers were allowed to offer their services in a competitive labor marketplace?  Prices would drop as desperate workers would accept almost any wage to keep their jobs.  Imagine the explosion of worker productivity!  Fear is an undervalued motivator.  If someone else will deep fry those onion rings for a nickel less, why wouldn't we hire them instead?

3.       The union movement saddled the middle class with the burden of employer based health care, and until we remove the threat of expensive health care insurance from the books, our workforce cannot be free to find their own health care.  Worker “benefits” is just another name for worker entitlements, and entitlements are things that you receive even if you don’t earn them.  We know that entitlements are killing our country, so let’s stop this union-sponsored madness.  I can find my own cures, thank you. 

4.       Before labor unions, workers of 100 years ago put in an average of 61 hours each week.  Today, 40 hours is considered the standard of a full week of work.  Unions may tout the shorter work week as a way to encourage workers to spend more time with their “families”, but we loyal Walker supporters are not fooled.  Union workers are notorious for whistling at women who pass innocently by their work zones, not exactly the behavior of devoted “family men”.  Longer work weeks keep troublemakers of the streets and studies show that work gives people a sense of well-being and purpose.  Unions made work a dirty word, and this is our moment to change that mindset.  Greece has short work weeks, and look what's happened to them. 

5.       Unions backed the fatally flawed Family Medical Leave Act in 1993, and as expected, the economy has never recovered.  It took almost 20 years for its negative effects to infect the broader economy, and now we see the results – high unemployment, lower wages, illegals everywhere and more babying of babies.  “Bonding” is just another word for vacation, and we cannot afford any more vacations while the Chinese buy our real estate and dump their lead toys on us.  My daddy was never home, and that’s how I learned the value of hard work.

6.       Onerous regulations have cost us jobs.  Without expensive ‘safety’ regulations, American companies could hire more people.  Unions have said that worker safety must come first, but if you can’t get a job, who cares about safety?  Besides, wouldn’t anyone sacrifice some safety if they could be food on their table?  It’s common cents and dollars. 

There is one change inspired by the union movement that recommend we keep in place.  As an extension of an olive branch, I insist that we make no changes to the current status of Labor Day as a federal holiday on the first Monday in September each year.  I have a long weekend planned, and the tickets are non-refundable.  Maybe we could change the name to Management Monday though.

Let’s put union advances under that end zone once and for all.

Marvin Disgruntled, former Dairy Engineer

Racine, WI

Currently out of work on state disability

Boston, I’ll Have Another

I am fascinated when sports and politics intersect (one half of the MSRP Quadumvirate), sometimes in a painfully uncomfortable way.  In Boston this week, we had a head on collision at this intersection, and if it were not for the laughter created by the impact, there would have been no survivors.  This represents a perfect “can’t look away” moment from a man who has a short career filled with them.

Boston Mayor Tom Menino was so proud of his hometown Boston Celtics that he decided to provide nightly news viewers with his analysis of the club’s successful run thus far in the playoffs.  It would have helped if he knew the roster a tad better:

 

As any Bostonian would know, and well as most casual sports fans, the Celtics’ stars are not KJ and Hondo.  The Celtics’stars are KG (for Kevin Garnett) and Rondo (for Rajon Rondo).  In the mayor’s defense, Hondo was once a star for the Celtics (John Havlicek – in the 1960s and 70s.  He was close, actually a lot closer than when he called NBA Commissioner David Stern “Donald Sterns” at an event before the 2010 NBA Finals.  When it comes to sports names, this guy is the Butcher of Beacon Hill.

This gaffe dovetails nicely with some of his earlier displays of Beantown sports ignorance.  It was only last year that he publicly called New England Patriot stars Wes Welker and Rob Gronkowski “Wes Wreckler and Rob Grabowski”.  While there is no video proof, he probably at one time or another referred to the Pats’ Pro Bowl quarterback as “Mike Brady”.  Honest mistake.

 

And then there is this legendary public speech when the mayor lauded Bobby Orr’s “ionic” goal (as if it were performed atop radioactive isotopes instead of on a surface of ice), and compounded this verbal butchery by reminding Boston fans about the time that Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek kicked the winning field goal in the Super Bowl:

 Use this link to watch:  http://youtu.be/2WqhYSOo2vQ

For the record, the image of Orr’s goal is iconic, and Adam Vinatieri is better known for splitting the uprights in SBXXXVI (that’s Super Bowl 36 for any non-Romans in my audience).

Boston fans will give Mayor Menino a pass on his sports ignorance since New Englanders do not expect much from their politicians when it comes to sports knowledge (graft and sexual misconduct, they expect).  How do I know?  I know because this man was elected 9 times to the Senate representing the fine Commonwealth of Massachusetts, and yet here was his deep knowledge of contemporary sports personalities in all its glory:

So I toast to you, Bostonian politicians and sports fans.  In your honor, I think I’ll Have Another Sam Adams and work on my pronunciation of the funny names on the Bruins hockey team roster. 

Say it with me, Mayor Menino:  David Krejci...CRAY-CHEE (not ‘ker-jac-ee’)

Editor's Note:  I mention Boston politics and sports, and I left out the funniest flub of all - former Red Sox star and conservative henchman, Curt Shilling, sticking the government and by extension the taxpayers of Rhode Island with a large bill since his company's bankruptcy.  Gov't is clearly the enemy unless the check is made out to you, huh, Curt?

Below the Fold

Sometimes the headlines are so tempting that it is difficult not to click on the link and read the story.  “Headless Man Found in Topless Bar” is still the leader in the clubhouse (thank you, New York Post), but these actual headlines from Tuesday’s web news inspired me to click.  Funny, it was exactly the story I expected to read, every time.

Killer’s Corpse Dragged from Car, Eaten by Bear

A deranged killer filed a police report today claiming that the corpse he had been carrying in the trunk of his car for the past few weeks was stolen by a hungry bear.  The killer, wearing thick rubber gloves, a blood stained smock and a 1970s style hockey mask, was visibly distraught by the bear’s actions.

“I was going to eat that guy.  Now what am I going to have for dinner?  Chicken?” 

 

Dion Admits ‘Titanic’ Song Could Make Her Sick

Confirming what everyone already knew, Celine Dion announced via Twitter that the theme song from the blockbuster movie Titanic has the ability to make her physically ill.  Dion joins a multitude of people, mostly males between the ages of 25 and 50, who are stricken by a similar affliction whenever Leo DiCaprio appears on the screen blathering on about Rose, Rose, Rose.  The only known cure for the feeling of nausea is watching a Sylvester Stallone movie marathon and aggressively punching a nearby pillow during the good parts.

Best Jobs That Don’t Need a 4-Year Degree

Not everyone needs a 4 year college degree to have a successful career, says Drop Out Illustrated in its latest issue.  This year’s list of jobs that require little or no formal education include: vice presidential nominee of the Republican Party; personal assistant for Herman Cain (described by Mr. Cain as “a job with benefits”); Hilton family member; All-Star NBA player; professional hoarder; talk show host; reality TV show contestant; and Internet blogger.

Gov. McDonnell:  Obama Deserves Some Credit

Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell was excommunicated from the Republican Party today for suggesting that President Obama deserved grudging credit for anything positive that has happened globally in the past 3 years.  After the words unwittingly fell from the Governor’s mouth, he tried to recover by adding that he “couldn’t think of any specific examples” at the moment, but the damage was done. 

 

In his official letter of excommunication written by RNC Chair Reince Preibus, McDonnell was asked, “Didn’t you get the memo?”  

12-Year Old Starts His Own Recycling Business

Everyone knows that the best way to protect the environment is to reuse, or so says little Mitch Cumstein of Wooster, Mass.  The industrious 12 year old has started his own recycling business, encouraging classmates to save the planet by wearing their underwear on consecutive days.  “I just decided it was easier to turn them inside out.  That way, they get washed half as often.  Less laundry detergent, less water waste, everyone wins.  I can’t believe no one has thought of this before.”  Mitch now charges $0.05 for every piece of recycling advice, and he invoices his schoolmates in the boy’s room before lunch each day.

As part of his Going Green strategy, he hopes to expand into recycling his own boogers for profit.  “Why waste them?  There’s gold in them hills!”

Paris Police Probe Sighting of Canada Porn Actor

Paris police are investigating the possible sighting of a Canadian porn actor, wanted for questioning in connection with a grizzly crime.  Officers who crowded around the tiny iPhone screen to watch the tawdry sighting recounted what they saw:

“He was wearing a handyman disguise that included a fake moustache, and he entered the scene and asked the woman if she had called about a plumbing inspection.  A witness had come forward because she recognized the maple leaf tattoo on his left buttocks during a particularly action-packed sequence.  We’ll have to watch it over and over and over again before we can be absolutely certain it is him.” 

Confirmation of the sighting of the actor took longer than usual for the all-male Paris police squad because they insisted on reviewing his entire body of work.

“Is that a baguette or is he just glad to see her?  C’est magnifique!”

Cities with the Most Underwater Homeowners

For the 10,000^th year in a row, the lost city of Atlantis led the world rankings as the City with the Most Underwater Homeowners.  Crescent City, Japan remained mired in second place.

Celtics Beat Heat

The Boston Celtics conducted practice indoors today, thus avoiding the oppressive Florida Heat.  Some news outlets are also reporting that Kevin Garnett poured a cool cup of water over his own head during a break in shooting drills.  Reports out of Miami also indicate that LeBron James can’t stand the Heat, either, and has been cooling down in a remote corner of the court by himself.  

Experts predict that the Heat wave will break tonight after 11 PM.

Busted

“Running a football team is no different than running any other kind of organization - an army, a political party or a business. The principles are the same. The object is to win - to beat the other guy.” – Vince Lombardi, Famous Guy who used to manage people in Wisconsin before his industry unionized and ran itself into bankruptcy.

Ok, that last part isn’t quite true about the NFL being bankrupted by the existence of unions, but the Famous Guy did say that winning was everything.  For another famous Wisconsinite today, Gov. Scott Walker, winning sure is everything.  He is now wearing the Electoral Immunity Idol around his neck for 2 more years, and rumor has it that nationally with Republicans, his shit doesn’t stink.  Congratulations.  I will go out on a limb and say that his office will not be looking into any claims of rampant voter fraud he predicted would occur.  How could there be fraud if the GOP won, right?

Given my oft-expressed views, many of you have reached out for my opinion on the recall election results.  Some have sought my learned counsel; some my considered opinion; others just wanted to see if I had renounced progressive politics, admitted my ignorance, and curled up in the fetal position outside the White House in a puddle of my own self-pity praying for free health care. 

  

Hate to disappoint, but I’ll just give my opinion and move on with life.  As part of my personal efficiency and increased productivity project, I will offer my thoughts on the Wisconsin recall and result in this singular forum.  Next comment or questions will receive this link in reply.  It will save time and keep my blood pressure steady, both good goals.

Walker did not campaign on the issue of eliminating collective bargaining rights for public employee unions.  That’s the real issue for me.  I believe he planned this power move all along but never revealed his intentions until after his election.  That’s not right.  Walker claimed he was responding to the fiscal crisis that was even worse than he had imagined.  OK, the unions conceded to Walker’s demands for cuts in benefits and compensation to help balance the state budget.  Once the unions agreed to these cuts, Walker showed his true hand.  He then added that collective bargaining rights had to be ended to prevent a future fiscal crisis.

The fact is that he had an agenda to destroy union power, and that, in the wake of the Citizen’s United decision, would leave only corporate money power to rule the government.  The plan from the beginning was to create a plutocracy, and in that sense, mission accomplished.  It should bother everyone that he is so cozy to the Koch Brothers that he can calmly discuss his consideration of salting crowds with agitators to turn public opinion against the labor movement.  That behavior is reprehensible for a public official, and no, it is not a defense to say “he didn’t go through with it”.   This is a guy who relishes his reputation as Mr. Divide and Conquer.  Had Obama said the same thing, the Right would be shouting “Impeach!” 

   

Follow the money.  When an incumbent wins an election by 7% against a candidate that had 6 weeks to campaign, and was aided by a 7 to 1 campaign spending advantage, it is hard for me to see that as an affirmation of anything except the fact that money talks in politics.  If there is a national lesson in this recall, it’s that political consulting is a growing industry. 

Never impulsively act in anger.   This is a valuable life lesson that the WI Democrats could have used last year.  By engaging in the recall effort, the party risked leaving Walker stronger if they lost.  They lost.  His position is stronger (Walker wins 53% and it’s a mandate for action; Obama wins 53% and it proves that half the country voted against him – crazy!).  Labor is weaker.  There were smarter paths to follow instead of rolling the dice and going all in on a risky recall.  Hindsight, as they say, is 20-20.

  

Be careful what you wish for.  Walker campaigned on a platform that his state’s economy was improving.  If things are really improving in 2012, maybe President Obama is partly responsible, and even if he is not, the perception will be that he is.  A good economy is the worst thing that could happen to the GOP in the fall.  According to Walker, Wisconsin could be fertile ground for Obama’s message of recovery.

 

Don’t get too giddy, elephant boys.  In exit polling, 18% of those who voted for Walker in the recall said they were voting for Obama in the fall.  There was apparently a vocal minority in WI that objected to a recall election on principle.  These voters felt that a recall was only designed for extraordinary circumstances, such as the arrest and conviction of the governor for selling a Senate seat, or fathering a child with his live-in nanny.  This group did not view Walker’s overreach on union bargaining rights to be worthy of a recall, regardless of their view on the policy.  By the way, while Walker won the governorship, his party lost the Senate to the Democrats.

Union membership has been declining for years, and the Democrats have been slow to evolve their base of support beyond that fixture of 1950s American society.  Republicans may have given new life to an interest group that was dying on its own.  We’ll see if the Democrats can find a new financial base of support as memberships decline, and whether or not the Republicans have overplayed their hand and awakened the worker beast.

One thing is clear – the GOP either does not recognize that the widening wealth gap in this country is a danger to our stability and global competitiveness or they don’t care.  Either way, that scares me.

Alternative Sources of Energy

You have to admit, even if you have never tried it, you’ve considered it.  The product claims are too attractive to be summarily dismissed.  It’s available at every checkout counter in America.  It’s convenient.  It’s cheap.  The bottle has pretty colors.  And what if it worked?

·         5 hours of energy from a small dose of flavored liquid

·         No crash later

·         Sugar free

·         Cheaper than coffee and without the dreaded “coffee breath”

·         Legal and safe

I have evolved over time into a 2 cup of coffee a day addict, an evolution that took place over a period of years.  A former college roommate turned me on to iced coffee which turned out to be my gateway drug into the hot morning cup of joe habit.  It was a gradual transition from a boy full of nature’s youthful energy and exuberance to a man slowed by the weight of family responsibilities and nature’s gravitational pull.  I was the same person, but more tired.  Damn gravity, holding me down.  Coffee kick started in my daily fight against malaise and inertia, and besides, it tasted good. 

 

Coffee is not without its negatives.  After a cup or two, a restroom nearby is required - quickly.  Unless you enjoy coffee straight up, which I do not, you always need both the coffee and the supplies to make it a delicious, familiar treat.  You need the right type of sweetner.  You need the right kind of creamer.  Frankly, being a morning coffee lover/addict can be a burden, on the coffee drinker as well as on the family members of the coffee drinker who once denied his regular fix can become – irritable…ok, borderline pathologically violent.  So I am open to an alternate pick-me-up, an emotional and intellectual anti-gravity potion with all the coffee upside without the coffee downside.

When the student is ready the master will appear. 

Slick ads on TV and radio are one thing.  A personal testimonial from an unbiased acquaintance is something else.  On a recent camping trip, a friend was downright effusive with his praise of 5 Hour Energy and its miraculous restorative powers.  He confirmed for me that every marketing claim that the company makes is absolutely factual.  In fact, another camper overheard our conversation and added her affirmation of this wonder drug.  Once I scrapped together $2.59 and found me a 7-11, I was ready to become a patient. 

  

A day later, my first purchase of 5 Hour Energy brought an unexpected amount of anxiety.  It felt as if the transaction should not be legal.  All that energy in one little bottle at the convenience store checkout, displayed between the lottery tickets, the rolling papers and the prepaid calling cards?  Worse than feeling somehow illegal, buying that little bottle seemed to be an admission of weakness.  I felt that other customers were staring at me thinking, “That guy gets tired easily.  Poor bastard needs daddy’s little helper.  I wonder what other potions he takes to restore his vigor?”  I wanted my little purchase wrapped in a plain brown wrapper to disguise my embarrassment, but asking for the bag would be an admission of guilt.  I quickly stashed it in my pocket and left.  Keep the change.

I took the little bottle to work, closed my office door and looked at the ingredients.  It looked harmless enough, in fact so harmless that I was certain that it could not work which at $2.59 per bottle would make me more irritable than missing my morning cup of coffee for a week. 

Despite the glowing unsolicited recommendation of the fellow camper, I had lingering skepticism.  Maybe it wouldn’t work the same way for me.  Maybe his recommendation was so effusive that my expectations were outside the gravitational pull of reality.

The movie Limitless with Bradley Cooper and Robert DeNiro is about a guy who takes some sort of pill and becomes smarter, stronger, better looking.  I have not seen the movie, but this was the promise of 5 Hour Energy.  Better, stronger, faster.  Success, accomplishment and happiness in just a few fluid ounces.  (In college, we called this a six pack).  Memories of my Freshman Psychology class and the lecture on the placebo effect were dancing in my head.  This stuff could be harmless and useless, but thanks to my lofty expectations alone, I would conquer the world, or at least not fall asleep at my desk around 2:30 PM.

Here is my personal 5 hour diary on the restorative powers of the miracle drug that is 5 Hour Energy:

Hour One – Rockin’ and focused.

Hour Two – Feel no different than any other day.  Maybe I need to move around some.

Hour Three - Not impressed, but not falling asleep either.

Hour Four – I wonder if I should go running this evening.

Hour Five – No crash, but was I ever speeding?  If my hands aren’t shaking, how do I know if it is working?

Will I try the stuff again?  Of course.  I bought sea monkeys and X-ray glasses more than once, so why would I give up on the promise of 5 Hour Energy after one inconclusive experiment?  The allure of 5 focused hours of pure energy is too great to pass up.  I want to be Limitless just like Bradley Cooper.

The bottom line on my foray into the fountain of youth is this:  It didn’t kill me but it didn’t make me stronger.  Maybe I’ll try the magic elixir again, but not until after the NHL playoffs are over.  It could be that staying up to watch the L.A. Kings win West Coast games is more than the little bottle could overcome.

Or maybe I could just go to bed at a decent time.  Until then, it’s morning café au lait!