Saturday, June 9, 2012

Next Target Acquired: Labor Day

Now that Wisconsin residents have ushered in a new era of anti-labor arrogance, it is time for them to set their sights on repairing the damage of union influence on Real America.  A letter writing campaign is just the beginning of a concerted effort to organize opposition to labor advances.  I clipped this example:

Letter to the Editor, Wisconsin Weekly Badger:

Now that unions are dead, it’s time to go after the havoc they have caused the U.S. economy during their past century of unregulated power.  Thanks to our brave Governor Walker, here in Wisconsin, the last vestige of union influence has been killed and buried beneath the end zone at Lambeau Field.  With no one left to stop our march to freedom, we have to work tirelessly to undo the damage they have wrought.  I believe we have 6 specific targets and I urge our lawmakers to act while the political wind is at our backs. 

1.       Unions brought us child labor protections, protections that while well-intentioned, gave birth to a lazy and entitled class of youth without the proper backbone for a life of labor.  Every wonder why we have so many chiropractors in this country?  Weak backs.  It is past time that our kids receive the gift of learning in the real world, instead of in indoctrination factories masquerading as public “education”.  When children work, they learn the Judeo-Christian values of obedience, respect for authority, and repetition.  We owe it to our kids to put them to work.  Imagine a world where daycare becomes a center of productivity and profitability instead of a drain on family finances. 

2.       The unions brought us the scourge of a minimum wage, a government mandate that distorts the free market principle of job creators being able to buy the most labor for the least dollars.  How much cheaper would the McDonald’s Value Menu be for hungry Americans if workers were allowed to offer their services in a competitive labor marketplace?  Prices would drop as desperate workers would accept almost any wage to keep their jobs.  Imagine the explosion of worker productivity!  Fear is an undervalued motivator.  If someone else will deep fry those onion rings for a nickel less, why wouldn't we hire them instead?

3.       The union movement saddled the middle class with the burden of employer based health care, and until we remove the threat of expensive health care insurance from the books, our workforce cannot be free to find their own health care.  Worker “benefits” is just another name for worker entitlements, and entitlements are things that you receive even if you don’t earn them.  We know that entitlements are killing our country, so let’s stop this union-sponsored madness.  I can find my own cures, thank you. 

4.       Before labor unions, workers of 100 years ago put in an average of 61 hours each week.  Today, 40 hours is considered the standard of a full week of work.  Unions may tout the shorter work week as a way to encourage workers to spend more time with their “families”, but we loyal Walker supporters are not fooled.  Union workers are notorious for whistling at women who pass innocently by their work zones, not exactly the behavior of devoted “family men”.  Longer work weeks keep troublemakers of the streets and studies show that work gives people a sense of well-being and purpose.  Unions made work a dirty word, and this is our moment to change that mindset.  Greece has short work weeks, and look what's happened to them. 

5.       Unions backed the fatally flawed Family Medical Leave Act in 1993, and as expected, the economy has never recovered.  It took almost 20 years for its negative effects to infect the broader economy, and now we see the results – high unemployment, lower wages, illegals everywhere and more babying of babies.  “Bonding” is just another word for vacation, and we cannot afford any more vacations while the Chinese buy our real estate and dump their lead toys on us.  My daddy was never home, and that’s how I learned the value of hard work.

6.       Onerous regulations have cost us jobs.  Without expensive ‘safety’ regulations, American companies could hire more people.  Unions have said that worker safety must come first, but if you can’t get a job, who cares about safety?  Besides, wouldn’t anyone sacrifice some safety if they could be food on their table?  It’s common cents and dollars. 

There is one change inspired by the union movement that recommend we keep in place.  As an extension of an olive branch, I insist that we make no changes to the current status of Labor Day as a federal holiday on the first Monday in September each year.  I have a long weekend planned, and the tickets are non-refundable.  Maybe we could change the name to Management Monday though.

Let’s put union advances under that end zone once and for all.

Marvin Disgruntled, former Dairy Engineer
Racine, WI
Currently out of work on state disability

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