Sunday, June 10, 2012

Kwame Brown's Slam Dunk

Here is some news you can use, courtesy of the crack staff at MSRP

Dateline: Washington D.C.

Former District of Columbia Council chairman Kwame Brown resigned from office earlier this week and on Friday, he plead guilty to lying on a bank loan application and violating city campaign finance law.  Brown, now with a felony conviction on his resume, was immediately anointed by the D.C. Democratic Party as the front runner for the city’s mayoral nomination.

“He’s finally got some street cred,” said Michael Jordan, the man most responsible for bringing Councilman Brown to Washington in 2001.  “He was not a good draft pick, but he’ll make a hell of a mayor once he gets out in 6 months.”

One of Brown’s biggest supporters is sure to be former mayor, turned felon, turned mayor Marion Barry, whose rise from the ashes of city politics has been well documented. 

Speaking from the steps of the District secondary school named in his honor, Marion Barry High, the current Ward 8 Councilman said, “At one time when I was behind bars, I thought that returning to D.C. politics was a pipe dream.  But I beat the odds.  America loves a comeback.”

Brown’s conviction completes an historic fall from grace.  Only 2 weeks ago, Brown defiantly proclaimed to the press, “I am go-go.  To the media, you’d better get that right.”  While no one has any idea what that means, go-go is assumed to be very, very good and city residents latched on to the new catch phrase.  T-shirts with the saying “I am go-go – Brown 2015” were selling briskly from street vendors. 

There are detractors, however.  T-shirts with the saying, “I am go-go…ing to prison” – Brown 2012” were also selling well, mostly to residents of the surrounding suburbs of DC.

Brown may face stiff competition from former D.C. Council member Harry Thomas Jr. who was convicted of embezzling city funds in 2011 and is currently serving a three year sentence in federal prison.  Thomas' financial background may help him be a more prodigious fundraiser when he is released in 2014.

Former Mayor Adrian Fenty, sensing an opportunity for a comeback of his own, was arrested yesterday for shoplifting in an attempt to raise his stock in the upcoming mayoral race.

The D.C. Republican Party could not be reached for comment because there is no D.C. Republican Party.

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