Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Going Rogue

Former University of Delaware student and current New Jersey Governor Chris Christie had his membership in the Republican Party revoked yesterday after offering public praise of President Obama during campaign season.  He has been ordered to return his membership beanie and all his Ronald Reagan memorabilia by noon tomorrow to avoid confiscation by irate party rank and file members. 

“It’s been very good working with the president,” Christie said on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe on Tuesday.   “He and his administration have been coordinating with us. It’s been wonderful.”

On NBC’s “Today,” Christie said the president had been “outstanding” and FEMA’s response has been “excellent.”

“The president has been all over this and he deserves great credit,” Christie said. “I’ve been on the phone with him, like I said, yesterday, personally three times. He gave me his number at the White House, told me to call him if I needed anything. And he absolutely means it.”

Christie is an avid supporter of Mitt Romney for President and was one of the first sitting governors to endorse the former liberal-turned-conservative-turned-moderate-turned-inside-out nominee.  His words of honest praise for a job well done by a Democrat were sure to be twisted into the truth by Obama, helping to reinforce the President’s image as a competent executive, particularly during times of national crisis. 

Republican National Chairperson Reince Preibus was quick to distance himself from Christie’s comments, calling them “offensive” and “reprehensible”. 

“The Governor is not speaking for the party.”

Karl Rove, former political brain of the Bush administration and known Satanic acolyte, went even further by denying that Christie had ever been a Republican in the first place.  In response to a question from a reporter today, Rove said, “He never gave a keynote address at the Republican National Convention.  You must have heard that on MSNBC, because we categorically deny that.”

Mitt Romney addressed the sudden expulsion of his former supporter from the GOP in a brief statement that read, “The Obama campaign continues its campaign of distraction by dredging up these old, out-of-context quotes from people whom I have never ever met.”

Somewhere in the distance, a cock crowed three times.

Christie was his jocular self when being told that he was no longer welcome in the Big Tent of Republican Extremism.  

“Well, I’ve been called a hippo before but never a RINO.  They’re all a bunch of numb nuts if you ask me.”

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