Thursday, April 26, 2012

Suspensions of Disbelief

In the face of seemingly insurmountable odds, the Boston Bruins have taken a page from the Newt Gingrich presidential campaign.

Special to MSRP:   April 26, 2012

Today the Bruins announced that they are suspending their campaign for the 2012 Stanley Cup.  The official announcement confirms what many sports experts have already accepted as inevitable since Washington Capitals forward  Joel Ward banged home a rebound for the winning goal in last night’s Game 7 of the Eastern Conference primary round.  The Washington Capitals now enjoy a 4 games to 3 lead in the best of 7 series and the math no longer favors a comeback by the defending champions. 
The announcement did not come as a surprise to those closest to the team, and most Bruins supporters have already begun to look for other more viable Stanley Cup contenders to rally around.

Many Stanley Cup contenders choose to suspend their season before officially shutting down for the year because suspending does not require that they forfeit any game victories already earned. 
While some are questioning why the Bruins did not just admit defeat and pack their bags for the long off season, suspending the season instead has some other political advantages.  By suspending instead of conceding, the Bruins will not be faced with tough questions about whether or not they will endorse the Capitals in the next round.  Suspension does mean that they will no longer make any game stops and the travel budget is on hold. 
An announcement by the Bruins that they are folding their operation for the season is expected early next week. 

The announced suspension of the Bruins Stanley Cup campaign 2012 now provides a clear path for the Washington Capitals to focus on the road ahead.  The Capitals will no longer have the Bruins actively hitting them with attacks and weakening their prospects for victory in the next phase of the quest.

Caps owner Ted Leonsis was not in a gracious mood when told that the Bruins would only suspend their primary playoff campaign instead of shutting down and endorsing his franchise for the Cup.   “Look, why don’t they admit it?  It’s over.  There is no way the Bruins can make it to 4 wins at this point.  There are no longer enough games left on the calendar.  Suspending the season is just a formality.  Just end it already.”

The Bruins would not concede, but hinted at the fact that they knew it was over.  Head cheerleader Mark Milbury said, “Hockey is a contact sport, and you need a thick skin to compete.  We believe that the Capitals will be stronger in the coming months because of our aggressive challenges.  I can only say that I wish we had competed a little better in the South.  If we could have won there, it would have changed the entire dynamic of the campaign.” 
Most sports pundits believe that the Bruins will be back in another 4 years to try again, but the team will be 4 years older and rabid supporters may have drifted to other teams by that time.  Radical right wing goaltender Tim Thomas told MSRP, “The window of opportunity in this game is small.  We’ll talk to our families, take some time off, and then we’ll decide on the next steps.  Rest assured, we plan to remain in the public eye in a fundamental way. ”

In a related story, Ron Paul vowed to stay in the hunt, hoping for a brokered Stanley Cup Finals.

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