Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Farewell to Arms

In anticipation of Obama’s announcement tomorrow on actions that he will take to stem gun violence in our country, our team of crack hackers (or as we lovingly call them here at MSRP, hacks on crack) has procured an advanced look at Biden’s prepared remarks.  We share them with you here exclusively:

Statement from Vice President Joe Biden regarding the Commission to Decrease Gun Violence in America:

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen,

As you know, I am prone to shooting off at the mouth, so I will try to stick to my prepared bullet points.

In the wake of the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary school last month, the President directed me to chair a commission that would make targeted recommendation to reduce the scourge of gun violence in our country.  I gladly accepted the challenge.

After rifling through a number of proposals, we came to a consensus on what I believe to be some high caliber recommendations.

As a committee, we were gunning for proposals that not only could positively impact the nation but also proposals that stood a chance of becoming law.  We are realistic.  We know that passage of these legislative proposals in a divided Congress will not be automatic, or even semi-automatic.  But if we target our efforts, if we aim for the right solutions and refuse to be muzzled in the face of the powerful gun lobby, we can succeed.  

The President and I believe that without strong regulations around guns, we’ll be staring down the barrel of greater risk of senseless attacks such as Sandy Hook, Aurora, Portland, and Iraq.  We recognize that introducing tighter gun restrictions could lead to a backlash in the political polls, but we are willing to take that bullet for the American people.  We cannot stand alone unarmed in this fight.  We need the American people to provide us cover with their support.

I urge every American to fire off a letter to their representative in Congress asking that they not to recoil from the tough decisions.  Our cause needs all the ammunition it can get.  We must bombard our legislators with our letters, our phone calls and our voices.  This is our call to arms and I ask that every American join us in this fight to reduce gun violence now.  

That Biden…he sure is a pistol.

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