No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed

In trying to explain the political history of the last 8 months of campaigning to my youngest child, I felt it best to couch things in a language and cadence that she could relate to:

The historic opportunity to unseat the Obama

Took a grave hit when he took out the Osama.

Still it looked worth the long days and the hard work

Since he was unquestionably a Socialist jerk.

How many crazies would jump into the fray?

Only time would tell how many and who may.

Trump, Daniels, Barbour and Huck

Decline to enter the primary muck.

Palin hovered on a One Nation bus nearby

But she leaves it to others to saddle up and try.

Ten egomaniacs visit Iowa towns

Romney is the preference when choosing among the clowns.

But voters prefer someone who could have more clout

Too bad – Chris Christie confirms he is out.

Nine pols tight on money, chasing frontrunning Mitt

Fighting one another to be the next Big Hit.

Tim Pawlenty had a chance, but attacks Mitt too late,

A bungled opportunity, and we’re now left with eight.

Eight folks debating every single day

None making sense with anything they say.

More Cain accusers (I think you get the gist)

Consults with his wife, then seven on the list.

Seven desperately vying for the nation’s top job

Newt steals some votes with a well-timed diner sob.

Iowa caucuses and Bachmann takes her licks

Goes home to her district – and then there were six.

Six GOP contenders slogging through the snow,

“After New Hampshire votes, then we’ll really know.”

Huntsman hopes the final votes will keep his candidacy alive,

New Hampshirites feel differently – and then there were five.

Five remaining candidates fighting on the stump

Rick Perry running last, looking like a chump;

While in Carolina, he sees an exit door,

Decides to endorse Newt, and then there were four.

Four lonely Republicans leaning too far to the right

Bashing the incumbent President with all of their verbal might.

All that’s left are Mitt, Paul, Newt and Rick,

So now the competition is who’s the biggest….

Could someone save us from political despair?

Someone with humor and perfectly coiffed hair?

Someone who would run on a whim and a dare?

I give you President Stephen Colbert!

..to be continued after the South Carolina primary this Saturday…