Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Human Sacrifices

It is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the Lenten season when we traditionally give up things for six weeks.  Many still fall back on the ol’ reliable sacrifices, like chocolate, watching TV, or gossiping about others.  I think that a Lenten sacrifice has to be more meaningful.  Choosing the proper sacrifice for the season is an intensely personal matter, but we can always use some suggestions from the public.  Let’s look to our leaders, heroes and role models for examples of what real sacrifice is all about.  What are they giving up for Lent?

·         House Speaker John Boehner:  Jobs.
·         Rep. Michelle Bachmann:  Facts.
·         2012 GOP candidate Mitt Romney:  Everything he believed in before 2007.
·         Rep. Paul Ryan:  Math.
·         Obama:  Give up pretending to like Hillary, chucking up 3 pointers all day long, and making crank calls to Biden’s office.
·         Michelle Obama:  Sleeves.
·         Sen. Harry Reid:  Daily P90X routine.
·         Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi:  Chicago-style politics.
·         Former SecDef Donald Rumsfeld:  Accountability.
·         WI Governor Scott Walker:  Good faith bargaining.
·         Wisconsin Public Employees:  8% of pay.
·         NPR employees:  Listening to NPR.
·         National media:  Sarah Palin’s Twitter feed.
·         Glenn Beck:  Viewers and sponsors.
·         WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange: Blind dates.
·         Fan base of small market major league baseball teams:  Optimism.
·         NFL owners:  Transparency.
·         NFL Players:  16 game schedule.
·         Slugger Albert Pujols:  St. Louis.
·         Former, and soon maybe to be current running back, Tiki Barber:  Sitting at home waiting for phone to ring.
·         Tiger Woods:  Swedish massages.
·         Miami Heat President Pat Riley:  Patience.
·         Justin Bieber:  Locks of hair.
·         Lady Gaga:  Pants.
·         Bruce Springsteen:  Snooki.
·         Future princess Kate Middleton:  Privacy.
·         Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences:  Relevance to the 18-45 demographic.
·         American Idol:  Ratings.
·         Biggest Loser Contestants:  Haven’t we done enough already?
·         Miami Heat:  Winning.
·         Charlie Sheen:  Losing.

Good luck with your commitments this spring!

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