A Letter to the Editor, Bedford Falls Tribune:
I am writing to you today as a patriotic American, one who values the traditional values of this nation and the Christian principles upon which it was founded – duty, hard work, and capitalism. I have been a tireless champion of these core, conservative values throughout my stay here in Bedford Falls, and I believe that my status as a leader in the community demands that I shine a light on those who do not share these uniquely American qualities of character, and in fact, are working to destroy our way of life. I am speaking about George Bailey, Socialist agitator and enemy of freedom.
We in this town are well acquainted with Mr. Bailey’s sorted history:
ü As a child, he was an admitted drug runner for Old Man Gower, and his role in the near poisoning of one of the pharmacist’s clients has never been fully explained.
ü He was raised in what could be generously described as a “commune” run by his mother, no doubt a breeding ground for his future community organizing efforts.
ü He proudly displays his posters and magazines about foreign lands, with a predilection for stories about Middle Eastern locales and exotic rituals.
ü He has never been a regular churchgoer. Sure, we know that on VE Day, he wept and prayed, and on VJ Day, he wept and prayed, but no one has seen him in a church since.
ü He received a deferment from military service at exactly the time when his country most needed him, claiming some faulty hearing. He certainly didn’t hear the cries of his countrymen, that’s for sure!
Of course, we would never mention it, but isn’t it interesting that his henchman, Uncle Billy, had a wife who died in the river under mysterious circumstances.
As a businessman, George Bailey’s behavior strikes at the very heart of all that we know to be right and good:
ü He loaned money to cabbie Ernie Bishop (or “Ernie the Driver”), trapping him in the chains of debt from which he could never escape.
ü He preached the evil philosophy of spreading the wealth around during the last bank run, falsely providing hope to the vulnerable masses at a time when they needed some tough fiscal talk, not flowery speeches about hope and persistence.
ü He used his Building and Loan money to destroy the fabric of the Italian community. When he pushed a loan on the illiterate Mr. Martini, he broke up a neighborhood and divided a culture to pursue his utopian fantasies.
He has been the Bedford Falls Piped Piper, playing a joyful tune while leading the huddled masses to their financial doom and a life of nanny state dependency, with the Almighty Building
When the goals of capitalism are abandoned, and the populace is not encouraged to maximize income and personal wealth, we empower a lazy working class, content with indoor plumbing and a picket fenced yard, but nothing more. When consumption is discouraged, we all suffer.
Mr. Bailey’s emotionally tinged “we’re all in this together” rhetoric represents a danger to our children and a danger to our cherished values of rugged individualism and American exceptionalism. It is only when we compete against each other that greatest is nourished and rises to the top.
And, in a final indignity, Mr. George Bailey received a bailout from the honest taxpayers of Bedford Falls
Help me end the evil reign of this Socialist-run-amok, and return our fair town to its’ roots of self-reliance and personal liberty. If we do not act now, as Thomas Jefferson once said, “We shall not endure as a nation, without freedom, liberty and unregulated banking.” (The Federalist Papers, Volume VIII, to James Madison).
God Bless America
Henry F. Potter
Concerned American Patriot and Businessman
PS – We now offer Saturday banking hours for the convenience of our customers.
PPS - Did I mention his sexual harassment and subsequent hush money payments to the morally liberal Violet Biggs?
PPS - Did I mention his sexual harassment and subsequent hush money payments to the morally liberal Violet Biggs?
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