TV Memories for Dummies

The Nielsen Company and Sony Electronics have published a survey ranking the Top 20 TV events that were the most memorable for audiences over the past 50 years.  I was raised in a traditional 2-television household, so as expected I have strong opinions about the survey results.

First some survey background: 

The study questioned 12,000 participants online over three days in February, resulting in 1,077 completed surveys. Respondents were provided a list of choices selected by media experts that ranged from news coverage such as the assassination of President John F. Kennedy in 1963 to pop culture events such as the airing of final episodes of "Friends," "Seinfeld" and "Cheers."

Right off the bat, before even seeing one survey ranking, I knew the list would upset me.  The methodology had red flags throughout.  First, it was an online survey, notorious for attracting the young and the bored, meaning their idea of memorable TV moments equated to South Park’s Cartman farting for the first time or Janet Jackson flashing her nipple.  Next, choices were limited by the “media experts”, defined as someone living in their parents’ basement and owning at least one Star Trek collectible.  Hardly reliable as a ‘media expert’ or as a babysitter.  Finally, the final episode of Friends was a possible selection as the most memorable TV moment of the past 50 years?  Where is my blood pressure medication?  I need some Barney Miller reruns – STAT!

The survey listing confirmed my worst fears.  Here are some low lights:

   

·         The death of Whitney Houston was 9 places ahead of the funeral of JFK.  JFK was leader of the free world felled by an assassin’s bullet.  Houston was a singer from that movie with Kevin Costner who OD’ed after years of drug abuse. 

·         Last year’s earthquake and tsunami in Japan beat the JFK assassination by 8 places.

    

·         The Casey Anthony verdict made the list at all.

To parody the participants in the survey, all I can say is “OMG”.  Either I am too old, the survey respondents are too young, or everyone except me is an idiot.  Clearly, former is impossible so the latter is correct. 

    

Without too much effort, I came up with many omissions that are significantly more memorable (or should be) than half the events on final Top 20.  My additions first.

Entertainment programs were given the short shrift.  Memorable television has to include programs that were cultural events, shows nearly everyone watched at the time.  Lucy Ricardo giving birth to Little Ricky; the finales of M*A*S*H (for a long time the most watched program of ALL-TIME), Cheers and Seinfeld; Who Shot J.R.?; Ellen coming out; Johnny Carson’s last show, or even Walter Cronkite’s final broadcast.  These have to be more memorable than the wedding of two Brits last year.  For a nation fed on the teat of the cathode ray nipple, we can do better than that.

Before you read the list below, here’s what was NOT on the list.  I came up with my list in about 5 minutes:

·         Start of the first Gulf War on CNN, 1991

·         Nixon’s televised speech announcing his resignation (and Ford’s swearing in the next day)

·         The siege at the 1972 Munich Olympics

·         Princess Diana’s wedding (way bigger deal than William and Kate’s party)

·         Clinton’s confession (Lewinsky coverage in general)

·         The freeing of the American hostages in Iran in January 1980 and their return to the U.S. (heck, the entire America Held Hostage programming for 444 consecutive days!)

·         The Waco stand off and subsequent siege on the compound

·         The rescue of the Chilean miners

And finally, the event excluded from the list that makes the list entirely irrelevant and maddening:

·         The 1969 landing on the moon

I know that those readers under 25 are wondering why Susan Boyle’s surprising British American Idol performance, the Paris Hilton sex video and that cat trapped in the paper bag are not included on the list of the most memorable for TV audiences over the past 50 years.  Uh, that’s the Internet, Junior.   You haven’t lived until you’ve had to get up out of your chair in order to change the channel or adjust the reception by wrapping tin foil around a set of Radio Shack rabbit ears (ask your parents what I’m talking about).

The Top 20 List as reported by Nielsen and Sony:

1.       September 11 attacks 2001

2.       Hurricane Katrina - the levees break 2005

3.       OJ Simpson murder verdict 1995

4.       Challenger space shuttle disaster 1986

5.       Death of Osama bin Laden 2011

6.       OJ Simpson high-speed car chase 1994

7.       Earthquake/tsunami in Japan 2011

8.       Columbine school shooting 1999

9.       BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico 2010

10.   Funeral of Princess Diana 1997

11.   Death of Whitney Houston 2012

12.   Capture and execution of Saddam Hussein 2006 

13.   Barack Obama acceptance speech 2008

14.   Prince William, Kate Middleton wedding 2011

15.   Assassination of John F. Kennedy 1963

16.   Oklahoma City bombing 1995

17.   Bush/Gore election results 2000

18.   Los Angeles riots/ Rodney King beating 1992

19.   Casey Anthony murder trial verdict 2011

20.   Funeral of John F. Kennedy 1963

Pathetic.  What am I forgetting that didn't make my list or theirs?

Can't We All Just Get Along?

It’s less than 4 months before Election Day, and the two parties remain far apart on a variety of issues.  The union that at one time seemed indivisible appears not be salvageable, and we are on the brink of a bitter battle for nothing less than personal freedom.

On days like this, I don’t see any hope of consensus.  There are differences of opinion on family values.  There are disagreements on spending.  The choice of vacation destination becomes fuel for partisan bickering and competing press releases.  We hear that one side is aloof and unfeeling.  Then we hear that the other side is ‘different’ and secretly manipulative.  Before long, the religion card gets played and the rancor spirals out of control.  The environment has grown too toxic - so toxic that what really matters is forgotten.

Suri.

Our national arguments over taxes, spending, foreign policy, and social issues is not unlike the Cruise-Holmes dynamic.  Two sides that are represented by massive egos and powerful personalities find that they no longer share any common ground.  They have drifted apart, and the media celebrates (encourages) the public clashes and whisper campaigns.  After all, it’s good for ratings.  It’s no wonder we can’t come together to solve problems.  Our national interest is surely as important as the future of little Suri Cruise, and she has less debt to worry about paying back.  So how can we bridge this national divide?

We must turn to the power of the ballot box.  I suggest exercising your right to write in the names of the only ticket that can bring people together quickly and amicably to resolve issues of monumental importance – Fields and Wolfe for President.

Not familiar with Fields and Wolfe?  You should be.  That’s Bert Fields, divorce attorney for Tom Cruise and Jonathan Wolfe, divorce attorney for Katie Holmes. 

 

Look at their stellar track record for reaching across the aisle to get things done.  The initial divorce papers were filed on June 29^th.  In less than 2 weeks, a final decree agreement was signed by both parties.  Given the combatants in this marital union, this could have easily devolved into a martial union, fought with the conventional weapons of dueling Today Show appearances and spicy Us Weekly cover exposes about secret Mormon rituals and hidden sexual predilections.  It would have driven magazine sales through the roof but at the expense of poor little Suri’s future emotional health.  Instead, we have compromise and peace in our time.  Everyone wins, and isn’t that what we want for America?

   

If these guys can quickly, quietly and amicably resolve what was destined to be the divorce circus of the young century, then I feel completely comfortable giving them a crack at the legislative and executive branches.  Fields and Wolfe somehow got two massive egos to focus for just a moment beyond their own star-studded needs and onto the greater good, Suri.  Could Fields and Wolfe bring Democrats and Republicans together for the greater good, our economic health, just this once?

I’ll have the Nobel Committee on speed dial.

An All-Star Evening at the Ballpark

I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring.

Annie Savoy, opening sequence of Bull Durham

I love America, and I believe it is my solemn duty to pass along to my children a love of all things American (except peanut butter and jelly sandwiches - never had one, never will).  First and foremost for me, right after the 2^nd Amendment (that is sarcasm), is the quintessential American sport of baseball (please, don’t start with the football argument – your sport is named after the global sport of soccer).  To love the US of A is to love baseball.

I’ve done my part to indoctrinate my three, and I have met with some success.  I failed with my oldest daughter, but not for lack of trying.  We had partial season tickets for the first 4 seasons of Nationals’ baseball, and I taught her to keep score at the games.  It helped her learn the game and sit still.  She was almost a witness to baseball history on September 6, 2006 when Ramon Ortiz went 8.1 innings of no-hit ball, only to lose the no hitter, the shutout and the complete game (but preserve the win).  I blame myself.  As the 9^th inning began, I told her that something really exciting was about to happen, but I couldn’t tell her what it was.  Even the passing thought of a no-hitter obviously was enough to ruin the moment.  I jinxed it, but to love baseball, you must embrace the sweet science of the jinx.  The joy of a near no-hitter was not enough to ignite her Natitude for the game.

I’ve been more fortunate with Thomas.  He was a blank slate for my teachings.  In the Nats’ inaugural season at RFK, we stayed after the game for Kids Run the Bases and I couldn’t resist giving him the opportunity to be on the big field like his heroes (OK, I wanted to go on the field, and he was my excuse).  I explained to him that the run would start at first base, around the diamond, and then I’d meet him at home plate.  My baseball protégée looked up at me with his 6 year old eyes and asked, “Which one is home base?”

Like I said, he was the blank slate.  I almost gave up at that moment, but soldiered on.

I kept at it as my patriotic duty.  I eventually took him to Cooperstown, we have been to an Opening Day (2007), and he was with me in the stands to witness the MLB debut of Stephen Strasburg when the Bucs went down swinging/looking 14 times in 7 innings.  He has been fully infected with baseball fever and this year it is metastasizing into pennant fever.  So I am batting .500 with my first two kids.

I had one more chance to pass along the respect and appreciation for the national pastime – 7 year old Lucy, but I needed help.  With Lucy, I had a secret weapon.  Uncle Slam, the mascot of the Carolina League affiliate of the Washington Nationals, visited her school this spring bearing the gift of free tickets to a future Potomac Nationals game.  Give a first grade girl some free tickets, and it becomes not an invitation but an obligation.  Uncle Slam Wants YOU, and the call needed to be answered.  You can’t get more patriotic than that.

Last Thursday night, we headed to the ballpark.  As luck (bad) would have it, this game conflicted with another quintessential American pastime, Raft Night at the pool.  After some cajoling, some bribery and some threats, Lucy agreed that Raft Night could wait, and we would attend services at the Church of the Diamond.  Unlike regular church, I promised it would be really fun. 

 

We arrived early and shared some dinner.  Chicken fingers and fries, $8.00.  One hamburger, $5.50.  Two bottles of water, $9.00.  For $22.50 we could have eaten at McDonalds for a week, but at Pfitzner Stadium, that was one inadequate meal in the stifling heat.  A lousy dinner, $22.50.  Dinner with my daughter at the game, priceless.

It was hot in the shade, but our seats in the grandstand redefined hot.  We sat there like those sad little hot dog-like products in the 7-11 rotisserie, baking beyond recognition.  The metal rows of benches reflected the heat, announced as 97 degree at first pitch, but our internal temperatures had to be closer to an FDA-approved 170 degrees, safe to be eaten by vultures.

While enjoying a warm bath in a pool of our own sweat, a team representative came by and asked Lucy if she would like to be the Fan of the Game.  The Fan of the Game, we were told, announced “Play ball!” over the loudspeaker to start the game.  After a few weak audition shouts, Lucy got the hang of it and she was hired.  She was excited, even though I am unsure if she had any idea what Fan of the Game meant.  She was feeding off of my excitement which was plentiful.

We were escorted onto the field and Lucy lined up along the first base line with all of the Potomac Nationals’ players for the National Anthem.  As a father, a baseball fan, and an American, that is one image that can never be replaced, until she wins a gold medal in the 2020 Olympic Games (Competitive Hair Braiding, demonstration sport).  As a young girl, my wife was once honored at a Little League game as Homecoming Queen or Princess of the Park, or something like that.  Now our daughter has a similar honor in her mental scrapbook. 

     

The memory will need to last since there is no photograph.  I did not have a working camera with me.  My phone has a camera feature, but I don’t know how to work it.  Therefore, it isn’t a working camera.  I am one of the remaining dinosaurs that believe that if God had wanted us to take pictures with our phones, Thomas Edison would have invented the telephone before Alexander Graham Bell.  Besides, in the intense sunlight, I couldn’t see the screen of my phone anyway.  In this case, the “sun was in my eyes” excuse is valid.  

After the anthem, Lucy was introduced to the crowd with a rousing ovation, and right on cue, she belted out those magic words, “Play ball!”  It worked.  They played.

The magic, however, didn’t end there.  A nice man in the stands handed her a foul ball that he had caught.  The team representatives found us in the 2^nd inning and offered us a seat upgrade.  I bet her a dollar at one point that a particular batter would hit a home run, and he did (I did not collect, just added it to her tab).

To top it off, the Potomac Nationals won in a laugher, 14-3.  The quality of the play was decidedly minor league – Frederick Keys had 3 errors, P-Nats had one – but Lucy seemed unfazed by the lack of major league talent.  When the infielders backed up on grounders instead of charging the ball (“Play the ball, never let it play you”), I was disappointed.  She could have cared less.  As long as her Ice Cream of the Future, Dippin’ Dots, didn’t drip and melt on her shirt, she was fine.  When you are the Fan of the Game, you have perspective.

It was a long evening in the heat, so we were finished after 7 innings.  Teaching her that you NEVER leave a baseball game early will have to be a lesson for another day.  I granted us special dispensation because of the Code Red weather.  It’s a rule. 

As I carried her on my back towards the car, I asked the question that I was hoping only had one answer.  “Lucy, did you have fun tonight?”

She gave me the perfect answer:  “It was better than raft night”.  Now ain’t that America?

Times Have Changed

The job market is not what we were hoping for or expecting, but we are being asked for more patience.  In answer to a question about existing economic conditions, this is what we heard:

“I came in and the jobs had been just falling, like off a cliff. I came in and they kept falling for 11 months and then we turned around and we’re coming back. And that’s progress. And if you’re going to suggest to me that somehow the day I got elected – somehow jobs should immediately turn around, why that would be silly.

"It takes a while to get things turned around. We were in a recession, we were losing jobs every month, we’ve turned around. We want to keep that going to the extent we can.”

Can we accept this statement?  In 2006, Mitt Romney certainly was hoping that the public would.  Those were his words at the time, a direct quote.  I’m betting that he feels differently now, but it wouldn’t be the first or the last issue on which his position has changed.

Politics will never change.

Worker Free Agency

A few years ago, I read the Daniel Pink book, Free Agent Nation, and it changed my thinking on the future of the global workforce.  In his book, Pink describes a world where power has shifted from large, staid multi-national corporations that dictate the terms of employment relationship, to individuals with specific skill sets that hawk their abilities to the highest bidder (or the employer offering the most attractive benefits, flexibility, connections or advancement).  The world was changing, and individuals now had the means and the flexibility to take advantage of those changes. 

Sounded exciting to live in a time when the scales were tipping in the worker’s favor.  Then the global recession hit, and worker leverage cratered.  The common employee did not have to be told that they were lucky to have a job; they only needed to read a newspaper or watch Up in the Air starring George Clooney.  The power that seemed so close was suddenly shifted right back to the corporations.

Then I read an interesting article that tickled my contrarian funny bone.  Maybe companies should grant free agency to their employees.

Andy Porter, the VP of HR/OD with Merrimack Pharmaceuticals in Cambridge, MA, has a blog called Fistful of Talent, and he puts forth the theory that granting free agency to employees once every 3 years could actually have a positive effect on internal talent and results within a company.

Porter believes that sneaking around job boards and scheduling clandestine lunches with recruiters is childish, and for a company, an unstoppable practice.  So stop trying to stop it.  Let’s be adults and accept that people (our employees) will be looking to improve their lot in life, and there’s nothing wrong with that.  In fact, we should want employees who are looking to improve and grow.  The prospect of impending free agency could provide a necessary push.  

  

This writer understands that if free agency is offered to employees every 3 years (and I quote):

Your Current Job May Begin to Look Much Better:  all of us have complained about our current jobs at different times – too much of this, not enough of that, or I’m ready for something more.  But the funny thing is once you go out and interview with another company you’ll often view you current job in a whole new (often positive light).  Turns out the grass isn’t always greener.

Your Skills Have Changed:  Three years is enough time for an employee to have learned and mastered a new set of skills.  In fact, depending on your industry, three years of experience can have a significant positive impact on your compensation.  Marketable skills = more $.  On the other hand, if an employee’s skills have declined or haven’t kept pace with new advances in the marketplace, a company should have the right to adjust compensation accordingly.

Motivation:  If an employee knows that every three years they’ll have an opportunity to test the market value of their skills there’s a higher likelihood they’ll make the investment to learn something new.  This goes both ways – if a company knows that it runs the risk of losing top talent every three years I’d be willing to bet they would make a greater investment in professional development.

The full monty can be found here:

http://fistfuloftalent.com/2012/05/why-your-company-should-adopt-a-free-agency-period.html

Whenever I hear a speaker on the importance of increasing employee retention rates, I shut down.  I scowl.  I cross my arms.  I have long considered myself to be a member of the club of human resource professionals that believe that the pursuit of longer and longer employee tenure as a measure of success was wrongheaded.  Employee retention should not be the Holy Grail of staffing metrics.  Turnover is inevitable.  Turnover in many cases is good.  (Reasonable) turnover is actually preferred in a knowledge economy.  So instead of fighting against turnover, go with it.  Embrace it. 

Grant free agency, and let the labor market work its invisible magic.  Maybe the best employees will take their talents to South Beach, but that’s a risk worth taking. 

100 Licks in 12 Minutes

OK, that title of the post is what we call "a teaser".  The goal is to capture your eyeballs, and if you are reading this now, mission accomplished.

I ran across this clip that I understand has gone viral, with 100 gazillion hits in the last 10 minutes.  It is certainly a great advertisement for this guy's business, but more importantly, it is a really cool 12 minute show for any fan of rock n' roll in general and the electric guitar in particular.  Here is DC, we could use a cool piece of entertainment on a hot day.

100 famous guitar riffs in 12 minutes:

Did he miss anything you were expecting in his top 100?

WARN-ing Sign

On January 1, 2013, we face what we Beltway insiders call Taxmageddon.  On that date, $8 trillion in tax hikes and spending cuts become law.  On that date, the Bush era tax cuts expire for everyone.  On that date, the Obama 2% payroll tax holiday ends.   According to Tax Policy Center (via The Week), 4 of 5 households will greet the New Year staring down the barrel of an average of $3,701 in additional taxes.  At the same time that money is removed from the economy, $100 billion in cuts to Medicare, defense, and other domestic programs are scheduled to take effect.  Taxmageddon.

As even the casual observer is well aware, this narrative will not change one dollar between now and Election Day.  Everyone with the power to change this doomsday scenario wants to wait until after November 6, 2012 to do anything.  On that date, the music will stop and one party will find that there are not as many chairs left to sit in.  Each side believes that they will have the stronger hand in the game after that date, and they will avert Taxmageddon in a manner that reflects their governing philosophy.  Only one side is correct, but either way, Taxmageddon will never happen.

But here’s the problem – the WARN Act. 

 

The WARN (which stands for Worker Adjustment and Retraining Notification) Act offers protection to workers, their families and communities by requiring employers to provide notice in advance of covered plant closings and covered mass layoffs. This notice must be provided to either affected workers or their representatives (e.g., a labor union); to the State dislocated worker unit; and to the appropriate unit of local government.  It gives those facing an impending layoff time to plan; it gives a town facing a large number of unemployed time to adjust; it gives the state time to react.  Businesses need to plan 2 months in advance in order to comply with the law.

As my human resources’ compatriots know all too well, WARN notices must go to workers 60 days in advance of a potential job loss.  60 days before Taxmageddon is scheduled to suck billions out of the economy is November 1, 2012, 6 days before Election Day.  Six days before voters head to the polls to elect a President, thousands or maybe millions of workers will be required by law to be notified that their job will be going away.  Many of those will be government contractor employees in the critical swing state of Virginia.  Thousands of registered voters would be receiving WARN notices all at the same time. 

So much for the House of Representatives having any incentive to address the issue before the election.  The ruling GOP would like nothing better than a damaging headline in the Virginia papers 6 days before polls open that reads “Thousands of Area Workers Losing Jobs During Holidays”.  Call it a “November Non-Surprise”.

On November 1, 2012, Romney will blame Obama for the uncertainty.  Obama will blame Republicans for their obstructionism.  When I think about this, I stand shoulder to shoulder with the crowd that chants “Throw everybody out!” as they let the American people twist in a twisted game of political chicken.

Don’t say I didn’t WARN you.