Nats Fans: 2011 is Dunn

This could be why all those Presidents are running away during every game:

An Open Letter to the Remaining Fans of the Washington Nationals Baseball Club from Team Ownership

December 3, 2010

Dear Loyal Fans,

We are saddened to learn that Adam Dunn, our popular and productive slugging first baseman for the past 2 seasons, has accepted a free agent contract of 4 years, $56 million from the Chicago White Sox.  We cannot hide our disappointment, but we thank him for the many highlights he provided for our paying fans, and we wish him nothing but the best in his new home.  We would never hold a grudge against him for rejecting our generous mid-season or our post-season offers after he publicly stated his desire to remain in DC and play alongside The Franchise, Ryan Zimmerman.  Whatever.

Our club moves forward with confidence that we made a competitive and fair offer to Adam, considering his blooper-reel fielding follies and his abysmal 199 strikeouts last season.  The Chicago White Sox brain-dead decision to offer the aging lummox market value for his services should not reflect poorly on our baseball and business determination to offer Adam, 2^nd only to Albert Pujols in home runs since 2005, fewer years and far less money.  We respectfully remind our fans that our Washington DC market offers the finest taxpayer financed public school education for his children, free admission to world-renown Smithsonian museums (open 364 days each year), and a relaxed and forgiving clubhouse atmosphere second only to Pittsburgh.  These amenities, and more, have a dollar value that Mr. Dunn, who only stole 0 bases in 2 years, did not adequately consider.

We will not engage in finger pointing or recriminations over his departure.  While we will all fondly remember his towering home runs and his rapidly declining annual batting average, our commitment is to look to the future, as the past is past and the present is only a bridge to the future, and the future is not now.  For the last 4 years in Washington, we have worked and worked to field a profitable team that will compete for a World Series Championship someday, and that commitment to ‘someday’ has not wavered.  As proof, we have made significant investments in our farm system, tirelessly cultivating tomorrow’s players-to-be-named-later.  We will not be outmaneuvered for young, unproven talent, with big upside potential.  With the money we’ve saved from Mr. Stubbleface’s bloated contract, we plan to attend the Little League World Series in Williamsport, PA this summer, evaluating underappreciated and under-aged talent that we can afford.  We have even upgraded the stadium food options to take your mind off the on field experience, and are pleased to announce a multi-year extension with Ben’s Chili Bowl.  We will not rest until our fans are eating Ben’s half-smokes, prepared “all the way”, deep into October.

We are not bitter, and will not live in the past.  The search for big bats to fill the void left by that free-swinging, slow-footed, cast iron handed “player” has already begun.  Both Dmitri Young and Wily Mo Pena have expressed desperation and availability, and are available at a value price that will help mitigate our proposed ticket price increases.  Both chiseled athletes are guaranteed to provide thrills and chills, particularly for our younger fans who will line up for their free-with-paid-adult-admission bobblehead replicas of these Goliaths.  These bobbleheads are sure to have a shelf life longer than the overweight, future albatross around the neck of the Chisox.

Yes, the future looks bright in Natstown.  Once #1 draft pick Bryce Harper reaches puberty, flame throwing Stephen Strasburg’s arm is reattached, and Pudge Rodriguez sips from the Fountain of Youth, we should field a major league ballclub, and that’s a fact.  Just today, Lastings Milledge was released by the Pirates, so don't throw away those "MIlledge People" T-shirts just yet.  We are even exploring a rule change with MLB to allow Ryan Zimmerman the opportunity to bat twice in a row during home games.  Fan-tastic! 

 

Take heart, Nats fans!  We lost over 100 games with Done, and we can do more without him.  You can count on us. 

 

Happy Holidays, and remember our 2011 motto – Good Seats Still Available!

Mark Lerner

Principal Owner

Washington Nationals Baseball Club

Mention this letter and receive free shipping with your vintage Adam Dunn "Natinals" commemorative jersey (while supplies last)

American Exceptionalism Debunked

Yahoo! Has released its list of the Top 10 Searches for 2010, and a quick glance through will completely debunk any fantasy we may have of American Exceptionalism.  There is nothing exceptional about what is attracting us daily to the World Wide Web.  In order:

1. BP Oil Spill
2. World Cup
3. Miley Cyrus
4. Kim Kardashian
5. Lady Gaga
6. iPhone
7. Megan Fox
8. Justin Bieber
9. American Idol
10. Britney Spears

http://yearinreview.yahoo.com/2010/us_top_10_searches#Top%2010%20Searches

Pathetic, right?  I recognize that this list of 10 represents an average of ALL Americans who use the Yahoo! Search engine, and that this is a rather small sample group (let’s face it, we Google things, we don’t Yahoo! them).  Totals from such a small group may not represent a true snapshot of how we real Americans think.  I thought that it might be more instructive and enlightening to look at the Top 10 Searches by some individuals who truly represent this great nation.  This is what they actually typed into the search bar.  Let’s see what we can learn from the research:

Sarah Palin

1. Nordstroms return policy
2. Katie Couric naked pictures
3. Inspirational tweets by Founding Fathers
4. McCain video bloopers
5. Grey’s Anatomy
6. Hawaii statehood proof
7. Communism synonyms
8. Sarah Palin
9. Ben Franklin Presidential Library
10. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire tickets

Tiger Woods

1. Swinging in golf
2. Girls of Waffle House calendar
3. Apartment rentals short term FL
4. Confidential auto glass repair emergency
5. Deleting a Craigslist account
6. T-Mobile complaint department
7. Cayman Islands
8. Ball washer
9. Shower caddy
10. Norwegian translation of “my bad”

LeBron James

1. Miami Vice DVD Box Set
2. South Beach sushi restaurants leg room
3. Security system install Cleveland area
4. Hypnosis nail biting cure
5. Kazaam director’s cut
6. Big really tall shopping options
7. The Bird Cage
8. Reality definition of
9. Chris Bosh who is
10. Changing light bulb repair instructions

Obama

1. Sensitivity trainers DC area
2. Best beer brands reconciliation mood
3. Biden blog author
4. Bracketology
5. Hypnosis large group techniques
6. Bipartisanship snopes.com
7. TLC schedule Alaska
8. Paperwork legal name changing
9. Clinton speech texts 1994-1996
10. Hope

Lady Gaga

1. Madonna 1980-1985 style
2. Kabbalah
3. Meat related rashes cures
4. Cher
5. Costume sales Star Wars bar scene
6. Ryan Seacrest
7. Real estate license classes LA area
8. Pants comfortable elastic waist
9. Wizards of Waverly Place
10. Ripleys Believe It or Not

Rudy Giuliani

1. Derek Jeter
2. 9-11
3. Jorge Posada
4. 9-11 
5. Joe Torre
6. 9-11
7. Mitt Romney appearance schedule 2010
8. Mariano Rivera
9. 9-11
10. Florida Florida Florida

So, have we learned anything we didn’t already know?

The 27% Solution

There are some far-left elements in the Democratic Party who still question the legitimacy of George W. Bush's presidency in the wake of the Bush v. Gore decision.  Discrediting the result allows you to question everything that the President subsequently does.  "He wasn't really elected, so we do not need to listen to him or follow him."  The not-so-far right has their own Bush v. Gore moment, embodied by the birther movement.  The lemmings of the birther movement doubt Barack Obama's Constitutional right to hold the office of President, thereby justifying their rejection of any of his directives or leadership on the issues.  The birthers expand the Bush v. Gore model of civil disobedience further by adding the hint of international sabotage to the mix.  This storyline of the Manchurian Candidate has grown via bloggers and chain emails that seem to me to run a little light on facts and reality.

I don't watch CNN or Anderson Cooper, but I did watch this particular take-down of birther advocate, Rep. Leo Berman of Texas.  It's worth the full 12 minutes of viewing time.  I call this Fact v. Fiction:

CNN blocked the ability to embed the video, but here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AptxVyCwsfs


The disheartening part for me comes at the end.  According to a CNN poll that Cooper references, 27% of Americans question whether or not Barack Obama was born in this country.  How today's Democrats planted a birth announcement for Obama in a Hawaiian newspaper in 1961 in anticipation of his ascent to the White House 47 years later is never fully explained.  If nearly one-third of Americans question his citizenship in the face of facts that disprove birther conspiracy theories, then what hope is there for reasoned discussion on tax policy, entitlements, foreign policy, spending priorities, or the results of scientific inquiries? 

Tom Tancredo has suggested literacy tests before allowing citizens to vote.  Tea Party Nation founder Judson Phillips has recommended that only property owners be allowed to vote as the Constitution originally stated (renters need not apply).  Here's a modest proposal: if you can't follow the facts in this ridiculous birther blather, you shouldn't be allowed to vote.  That's my 27% solution.

Give to Caesar What is Due Caesar

Some people (like me) can get a little excited when discussing (yelling about) tax policy in America.  I believe that it is equally important to remember that the rate is not as important as the amount of tax you actually pay.  Rates come and go, but the smart ones (cheaters?) understand the loopholes.  In preparation for the forthcoming debate on tax rates, tax extensions, and/or tax cuts (call it what you will), I found the information below to be of interest.  The summary comes from First Read on MSNBC.com:

Is any provision in tax law “permanent”? And can any specific tax rate be extended “permanently”?  No, not if one takes a look at income tax rates, thresholds, and other provisions since the income tax was created in 1913.

The nonpartisan Tax Policy Center at the Brookings Institution and the Urban Institute has prepared an enlightening chart showing how income tax rates have changed since 1913.

• They’ve never stayed the same for more than ten consecutive years.
• The top tax rate has been – at different times – 7 percent, 67 percent, 25 percent, 91 percent, and so on. Congress has changed the top rate, on average, every 2.5 years since 1913.
• Right now the top rate is 35 percent. It applies to taxable income over $373,650. Obama wants to increase that top rate to 39.6 percent, which is what it was in 2000.
• The lowest income tax bracket has also varied widely, from a low of 0.375 percent in 1929 to a high of 23 percent in 1944.

The only permanent fact when it comes to the income tax is that its provisions have changed every few years.  And yet for the past 40 years – despite the changes in tax rates – the amount of income the Treasury collects from the income tax has stayed in the range of 7 percent to 9 percent of national income.

Since 1970, revenue collected from the income tax has averaged 8.25 percent of national income, or Gross Domestic Product (GDP).

Not surprisingly, when the economy is growing robustly, the amount of revenue collected from the income tax increases. And in recessions – such as in 1958, 1983 and 2009 – income tax revenues have declined.  The high point came in 2007 when the Treasury collected $1.16 trillion in income tax revenue; when the recession hit in 2009 that revenue plummeted by more than 20 percent.  Last year, the amount collected from income taxes was well below the 40-year average: only 6.4 percent of GDP.

So let the tax debate of image and marketing over substance begin.

Mensa Invitational

In a shameless display of extended holiday weekend cut and paste, I offer the following for your entertainment (thank you, BB):

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax-refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to begin with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?  And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider-web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and can't be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are
asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n.  Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency-vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer-shorts worn by Jewish men.

Justice Merely DeLayed

What if...

Former U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi -- once one of the most powerful and feared Democrats in Congress -- was convicted Wednesday on charges she illegally funneled corporate money to California candidates in 2002, which could send her to prison for decades.

Jurors deliberated for 19 hours before returning guilty verdicts on charges of money laundering and conspiracy to commit money laundering in a scheme to illegally funnel corporate money to California candidates in 2002. She faces up to life in prison on the money laundering charge, although prosecutors haven't yet recommended a sentence.

After the verdicts were read, Pelosi hugged her daughter, and her husband. Pelosi whispered into her daughter's ear that she couldn't get a fair trial in Sacramento. Pelosi had unsuccessfully tried to get the trial moved out of Sacramento, the most conservative city in one of the most Democratic states.

Pelosi's lead attorney, Dick DeGuerin, said they planned to appeal the verdict.

"This is an abuse of power. It's a miscarriage of justice, and I still maintain that I am innocent. The criminalization of politics undermines our very system and I'm very disappointed in the outcome," Pelosi told reporters outside the courtroom.

She remains free on bond, and several witnesses were expected to be called during the punishment phase of her trial, tentatively scheduled to begin on Dec. 20.

Prosecutors said Pelosi, who once held the No. 1 job in the House of Representatives and whose tough tactics earned her the nickname "the Hammer," used her political action committee to illegally channel $190,000 in corporate donations into 2002 California legislative races through a money swap.

During her tenure leading House Democrats, Mr. Pelosi established a new low in ethical conduct among Congressional leaders. She put family members on her campaign payroll, took lavish trips paid for by lobbyists and twisted the arms of K Street lobbyists to ante up and donate to her party's candidates and hire more Democrats. But her conviction on Wednesday came from something else entirely, a scheme to steer corporate contributions to Democrats in the California Legislature.

California bans corporations from giving money directly to state candidates, just as federal law does at the national level. But Ms. Pelosi figured out a way around that barrier: In 2002, she used her state political action committee to channel $190,000 in corporate contributions to the Democrat National Committee, which then donated the same amount to seven California House candidates.

The scheme wasn't lacking in ingenuity. California had completed its post-2000-census redistricting, but Pelosi wasn't satisfied with the way in which state lawmakers had drawn the lines. So she hatched a plan without modern precedent, deciding to pursue re-redistricting. But in order to hatch her gambit, she'd need some more Democratic allies in the California legislature, so she arranged to launder some corporate money into the accounts of seven Democratic candidates.

Six of them won; re-redistricting occurred; and the Democratic majority in Congress grew, just as Pelosi had planned.

The minor flaw in all of this is that Pelosi's scheme happened to be a felony, at least according to prosecutors and the members of a California jury. Pelosi's defense was largely built around the notion that she didn't know about the money-laundering until after it had occurred, but prosecutors pointed to a 2005 interview with investigators in which the left-wing lawmaker said she was aware of the plan in advance. (Pelosi later said she misspoke.)

Pelosi and her attorneys maintained the former San Francisco-area congresswoman did nothing wrong as no corporate funds went to California candidates and the money swap was legal.

The verdict came after a three-week trial in which prosecutors presented more than 30 witnesses and volumes of e-mails and other documents. Pelosi's attorneys presented five witnesses.

"This case is a message from the citizens of the state of California that the public officials they elect to represent them must do so honestly and ethically, and if not, they'll be held accountable," Travis County District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg said after the verdict.

Pelosi chose Priest to sentence her rather than the jury. She faces five years to life in prison on the money laundering charge and two to 20 years on the conspiracy charge. She also would be eligible for probation.  Pelosi contended the charges against her were a political vendetta by Ronnie Earle, the former Republican Travis County district attorney who originally brought the case and is now retired.

Craig McDonald, the director of Californians for Public Justice, a conservative watchdog group whose complaints with the Travis County District Attorney's Office helped lead to the investigation of Pelosi's PAC, said he was pleased by the verdict.

"We can't undo the 2002 election, but a jury wisely acted to hold Pelosi accountable for conspiring to steal it."
The 2005 criminal charges in California, as well as a separate federal investigation of Pelosi's ties to disgraced former lobbyist Jack Abramoff, ended her 22-year political career representing suburban San Francisco. The Justice Department probe into Pelosi's ties to Abramoff ended without any charges filed against Pelosi.

BACK TO REALITY

I’m sorry.  Didn’t you hear about this?  You didn’t?  That’s because it didn’t happen exactly like this, and Pelosi was not on trial.  Former Republican House Majority Leader Tom DeLay was, and he was convicted by a jury of the crimes listed above.  I substituted Pelosi for DeLay, Democrat for Republican, and California for Texas; otherwise, the story is the same.


That deafening silence you hear is the far right talking up this story of political corruption at the highest levels of government.  This isn’t a murky conspiracy theory – this is a conviction in court.  Had any of this happened as I have imagined to Nancy Pelosi, the “lame stream” media, led by Fox News, would have made this campaign fundraising commercial Exhibit A.  I know that American memories are short, so here’s a gentle reminder about life in Washington with the GOP in charge.  There’s a word for strong-arming the political process through illegal means to create a one-party system…what word could that be?  Here's a hint - the far-right has been throwing it around about the current state of affairs lately.

Welcome back to power, GOP House members.  Welcome back to "The Swamp that DeLay Built."

My original source material for this post:

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/11/24/jury-convicts-delay-money-laundering-trial/

http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2010_11/026804.php

and a good memory. 

If the ERA Had Passed

Boehner Takes Speaker’s Chair

Promises to balance job with family responsibilities

By L. Ledbetter

Style Columnist for MSRP

January 10, 2011

His ascension to the Speaker’s chair ushers in a new era of conservatism inside the Beltway, but will his influence also usher in a new world order of power fashion?  Mr. Boehner promises to offer substance over image but his fashion choices to date foretell a legislative direction that bears closer scrutiny.

Rep. John Boehner, 10-term Congressperson, father of two, was sworn in as Speaker of the House of Representatives today, becoming the first male to hold the post in 4 years.  The face of the historic GOP midterm victory is unquestionably new House Speaker John Boehner’s —and the outfit is a dark blue pinstriped Armani suit, with cordovan wing tips and silver cuff links.

On this historic occasion, Rep. Boehner had his hair freshly trimmed and shellacked to his scalp, not one hair allowed to compromise in even the most persistent gust of wind.  He selected a tailored dark blue single breasted suit for the ceremony, and the fresh coat of hair dye with chestnut highlights emanating just so, neatly from the center of his scalp.  His daring hair color choice at once announced his embrace of change and his reluctant to let go of the past.  The subtle pinstriping projected more banker than gangster, and his deft use of the three-point pocket square demonstrated a quiet self-assurance that should serve him well during the upcoming policy debates that are sure to come.  His cufflinks flashed sparkles of light to the crowd as he waved, emphasizing his savvy at accessorizing with a purpose.    His black wing tip shoes shone in the light, and close-ups showed a perfect manicure.  The only time we heard the word “liberal” was when describing his generous use of Bronzer #6. 

The look was remarkably on trend, if inadvertently so. For their fall collections, many top designers showed versions of the traditional power suit, deconstructing and re-imagining that old career-guy standard into something with a little more personality.  Boehner played directly to today’s runway style.  He eschewed the traditional white shirt for the day, opting instead for soft tangerine and a bold light blue tie, the double Windsor comfortably pressed against his prominent Adam’s apple.  We applaud his ability to combine the suit of Wall Street with the shirt and tie of Main Street, in what could be considered his first reach across the aisle of the fashion world.  “Ermenegildo Zegna, meet J. Crew.”

Boehner’s aesthetic has barely changed over his tenure in public office. That Armani suit has made dozens of appearances. The new Speaker doesn’t have a stylist, according to a close confidante.   Too bad.  A stylist might caution him that his spending freeze mentality should not extend to his wardrobe.  As we all know, “Clothing makes the man (or the woman).”

He spoke to the assembled crowd of family and well-heeled supporters, but kept his remarks brief, not wanting to sound shrill or nagging on his first day in power.  With his subtle, paternal sense of style, Boehner is helping to create a new archetype of sophisticated masculinity, in Washington and around the country. Come September, all the most fashionable fellows will look a little like the speaker of the House.

In more relaxed settings, Mr. Boehner has been photographed in his signature pastel Izod short sleeve shirts, bearing his once prodigious arms and biceps.  We would recommend he consider switching away from size medium, which only accentuates his expanding waistline.  The large belt buckle, a symbol of his commitment to a Southern Strategy for 2012, does not help.  It only draws your eyes to one of his less than flattering attributes.  In fact, he might consider staying with long sleeves this year.  In an arms race against Michelle Obama, he is sure to lose.  At least he has the good sense to spare us views of his unshaven calves.

That said, it’s a historic moment for the working man, the one who hustles night and day to wrangle votes for a sweeping legislative victory and also those who struggle toward marginally less stratospheric goals, like cooking for his spouse or taking the time to cuddle without being asked.


Boehner has long built his public image around an understated elegance, a look that is grownup and masculine, and this look will only be enhanced when he has that big gavel in his hand.  We look forward to his contributions to Washington fashion society, and maybe some legislative obstructionism along the way.  It’s never easy to be a trendsetting man, but the days of tall, dark and frumpy may be over with Big John in charge.

Next Week:  Sen. Scott Brown celebrates the 10^th anniversary of his historic nude photoshoot, Rahm Emmanuel discusses back hair removal by force, and Sarah Palin outlines her theory of multinational arms control.