Amending My Thinking

The Bill of Rights is a uniquely American creation.  When George Washington wrote them on the back of an envelope before his appearance at Gettysburg as the rocket’s red glare glowed overhead, it was a simpler time of principles over politics and majorities over minorities.  Men were men, women were women, and we were who we were, once and for all, e pluribus unum.  What was different back then?  We all had guns the way the Founders intended. 

We can recapture that peaceful easy feeling again, but to do so, we will need to follow more closely and literally this grand Bill of Rights and be prepare to pay that bill at all costs. 

In the Bill of Rights, there is one amendment that is the greatest among equals.  It is greater than the other enumerated rights because without it, all the other rights are at risk of being taken from us.  Over the years, the power and reach of this amendment has been eroded, but now more than ever, it needs to be followed as the pilgrims intended.

The 2^nd Amendment states:

“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

So what was the original intent of this amendment?  I’ve been doing some reading on this.  In the late 1700s, muskets, rifles, and cannons were the weapons of war.  If you had muskets and rifles, and the government had muskets and rifles, then you had a state of MAD – mutually assured destruction.  The government could not move against the people, because both sides were proportionately armed.  This created an environment in which the government was careful not to tread on any person’s individual liberties, lest the one of the government’s unionized public servants pay the ultimate price.

Today the sides are no longer even.  The government now has enhanced weaponry at its disposal.  Armored trucks with machine guns, SAMs (surface to air missiles), long range bombers, and high powered rifles fill their arsenals.  These high-tech weapons were not available in 1789.  Making sure that the sides were of even strength was easy in colonial times.  Rebalancing the scales of power today is more complex and expensive, but no less important. 

In order to protect citizens from tyranny and government oppression, we must protect the right of law-abiding citizens to purchase and maintain weapons equal in lethal firepower to those owned by the government.  

If your neighbor owned a nuclear weapon, doesn’t it follow that no one would try to break into his home, trample on his flower beds, or drop by unannounced selling coupon booklets for local businesses during the traditional dinner hour?  You betcha.  Your right to live and let live would be respected, or else.  If you could drive a tank loaded with 50 caliber shells, what federal agency lackey would pull you over for violating those liberal utopian HOV restrictions on your favorite highway?  Now that is real freedom, my friends, like the Founders had when they traveled by horseback over hill and dale, to grandmother’s house they went.

Of course, it naturally follows that tracking these purchases would be an invitation to the government to come and confiscate your legal property on a whim.  There can be no freedom as long as a database of these purchases exists.  If the government doesn’t know which person has a Predator drone in his garage capable of dropping a 2,000 pound bomb, it has to assume that everyone does.  That, my friends, is a blanket of security under which we can all sleep, albeit with one eye open.

In fairness to all Americans large and small, we cannot consider restricting the purchase of these vital weapons systems to those deemed “mentally incompetent”, a subjective determination.  Restricting weapons ownership would be an invitation to the government to oppress those less emotionally stable members of our communities, or worse - label people like me as “unbalanced” in order to tramp on my rights.  This is an invitation to tyranny.  And tyranny is bad.  We are against that.  And you must be, too.  Or else.

The cost for the average weapons system can deter many hard working Americans from buying and owning the gun, rifle, launcher, or nuclear submarine to best provide adequate home defense; however, if this onerous and unconstitutional restriction on buying large systems is lifted, more buyers in the marketplace will mean lower prices for all.  How?  Surely government contractors looking to expand their market share will develop new, more affordable weapon systems to meet the new demand.  Neighbor could band together with neighbor to pool their resources, creating their own militia as prescribed in the Constitution.  It’s a win-win for Americans and the American economy! 

 

We need to get back to our roots.  Let’s finally start embracing the original intent of the 2^nd Amendment in this country, and allow for the unfettered individual ownership of high tech military weaponry by private citizens.  The scales of justice have been tilted for too long in the government’s favor.  We will never be truly free until we are all heavily armed.

The best defense is a good offense, and defense wins championships.  Let’s win the future!

Living with a Mistake

Speaker of the House, John Boehner, tried a risky gambit yesterday in his on-going “negotiations” with President Obama over the fiscal cliff.  He opted to try what he called Plan B to avert the coming tax cataclysm and regain some leverage in the White House discussions.  Somewhere along the line, things went terribly wrong for the Speaker and his plan failed in spectacular fashion.  His party abandoned him.  Plan B did nothing to avert the cliff and in the process, Boehner sacrificed all of his leverage with the President.  

Oops. 

Thanks to the crack hackers at MSRP, we have for you the inside story of what brought Boehner to the fateful decision to try Plan B.  Full disclosure: some of the conversations may be graphic.

Boehner enters House basement meeting room.  He looks disheveled and visibly upset.

Eric Cantor:  John, what’s wrong?  You look awful.  How was your meeting with the President?

Boehner:  It’s…it’s hard to talk about.  (sitting down)  We were getting along pretty well.  He made some attractive offers, we had some beers.  I tried to say no to his advances, but he was so insistent, so strong.  I felt like he wasn’t respecting me, like he was using me to get what he wanted.  Then before I knew it, we were together at the table and…and…I think I got screwed.

Cantor (audibly gasps):  John, you poor man.  Just remember, you did nothing wrong.  You are the victim.  No means no, and even though he’s the President, he has got to respect that.  Can you talk about it?

Boehner (gently sobbing):  It started off as a quiet evening of negotiations, and now I feel totally violated.  I can hear his voice over and over saying, “I’ve got political capital, baby, and I’m gonna use it!”  (He pauses)  But that’s not the worst part.

Cantor: You can tell me, John.

Boehner:  I think he slipped me his fiscal plan.  I can’t stop thinking about it.

Cantor:  You went into negotiations with Obama without Congressional protection?  Are you insane?

Boehner:  I know.  I was stupid.  He was so likable, I fell for his romantic talk about “balanced approaches”, “discipline” and “stimulus”.  He is a really good speaker.  I thought he’d pull out of negotiations in time.  I guess he couldn’t hold on any longer.  

Cantor (becoming agitated, glaring at Boehner):  You aren’t considering bringing his demon seed fiscal plan to term, are you?  He forced himself on you, against your will.  You should not have to live with that mistake for the rest of your political life.  You’ve got to do something.  (Whispering) This needs to be handled.

Boehner: But what can I do?

Cantor:  Ever heard of Plan B? 
 
Boehner:  You mean the morning after bill?

Cantor:  Yes.  You could always resort to Plan B and that will abort Obama’s fiscal plan safely and effectively.  You know, you should have taken Plan B before you met with him alone.  It works even before intimate negotiations result in the implant of unplanned fiscal ideas in you.

Boehner:  I thought it was too late.

Cantor:  Not yet.  You have to introduce Plan B within 72 hours of unprotected negotiations, and remember, if the idea of tax increases is already pregnant inside you, it won’t work.  Plan B isn’t a retroactive legislative abortive.  John, your choices are limited now.  You’ve got to try something.

Boehner:  Are there side effects to Plan B?  

Cantor:  Well, just a few but it could be worth it compared to a lifetime of caring for Obama’s fiscal plan.  In some cases, you could experience nausea, abdominal pain, fatigue, headache, menstrual changes, dizziness, breast tenderness, vomiting and diarrhea.  Really nothing different than you experience every day when dealing with the GOP House caucus.  Of course, there’s bloating.  There is always bloating.

Boehner:  Anything else?

Cantor:  You may bleed support for your leadership role, but the bleeding should slow before the next period of Congress begins in January.  I’ll put it this way – if you are bleeding support from the House GOP caucus, then Plan B didn’t work, and you’ll have to live with the consequences.

Boehner:  How can I procure some of this Plan B?

Cantor:  You’ll need to ask the GOP caucus in the House.  They run the pharmacy, so to speak, and you’d better hope the Tea Party members are in a good mood.

Boehner:  I don’t think they like me.  Maybe I should tell them the Plan B isn’t for me.  I could tell them it’s for a friend.

Cantor:  You should get Obama to pay for it.  It’s his fault you’re in this condition, John, not yours.  Never forget that.

Boehner:  Please don’t make me go back to the White House and face him.  I’d rather just pay for Plan B myself and forget this whole mess ever happened.

Cantor:  It’s your legislative body so that’s your choice.

Boehner:  But what if Plan B doesn’t work?

Cantor: Then you’ll be the father of a bouncing baby Obama fiscal plan within 9 months.  But don’t worry.  Plan B is proven 99.6% effective, if the caucus gives it to you.  Good luck with that.

Boehner:  I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.    

Cantor:  Next time, John, if there is a next time – don’t negotiate with the President without Congressional protection, or the necessary votes.  If not, you might find yourself living with a mistake.

Boehner:  Looks like I have no choice but to try Plan B and pray.  If that fails, I’ll have to jump off a cliff.

************************************************************************

UPDATE:  In response to the release of this transcript, Obama’s office released a terse, two sentence statement:  

“Contrary to rumors circulating on the Internet, Boehner was asking for it.  Negotiations with Speaker Boehner were consensual and we demand that the result of our negotiated union to be brought to full term.”

Over the Holiday Cliff

Years ago, in protest against the same old annual updates about little Johnnie's straight As and Susie's ballet lessons,  I decided to spice up the Christmas letter tradition with my own brand of relevance and irreverence.  12 years later, I am still protesting.

Not everyone will receive the hard copy (stamps aren't free you know), but here's the 2012 family letter along with sincere wishes for a safe and peaceful holiday to all.

SHERRIER HOLIDAY LETTER 2012 – OVER THE CLIFF

Like the fiscal cliff negotiations, the debate over the content of the Sherrier Family Holiday Letter 2012 is coming down to the wire.  At the end of the year, without a signed Holiday Letter, our family will fall off the Holiday Letter Cliff (Thomas calls it a “slope”) and the uncertainty that would be faced by friends and family would be devastating to their holidays.  Failure to mail a letter by year end would result in automatic cuts to goodwill and mandatory increases in family-related stress.  

  

The in-house jockeying, the horse trading and the backroom deals have been kept secret, but thanks to WikiLeaks, here is a summary of the Sherrier Holiday Letter Cliff negotiations:

Marra will only sign the Holiday Letter if we agree to lift the family debt ceiling and allow her to tax our patience and spend our money without limitation.  Of course, this will happen regardless once she goes to college in September 2014.  We just started looking over the edge of that looming fiscal cliff and it’s a long way down. 

Thomas has called for more words spent on his quest for Eagle Scout rank while Marra prefers those words be spent on her self-described ‘crushing’ load of AP classes this year.  Lucy is against any reference to a debt ceiling in our letter as she contends that a family debt ceiling limits her ability to purchase as many American Girl doll accessories as the house will hold.

Cherie refuses to eliminate any references from the letter about education, specifically her long-term stints as a substitute in kindergarten classes in spring and summer.  Marra has countered that she has binders full of accomplishments from the past year, such as her swim team coaching job and lifeguarding experiences that must be part of any final agreement. 

Cherie thinks she has capital to spend because she served in a leadership position on the swim team Board of Directors.  Joe believes he has more capital at his disposal since he is now President of his local HR chapter.  

All parties believe that any final Holiday Letter agreement must address the effects of global climate change on the summer.  Cherie wants us to emphasize that Wrightsville Beach, NC was wonderfully warm, but Joe insists the final letter highlight the violent derecho storm that poked a nice hole in our house and killed our favorite pear tree.  

Thomas believes the draft letter lacks a stimulus effect and is demanding more mentions of his soccer field exploits.  Joe disagrees, and argues that additional references to his prolific blogging (www.joesherrier.blogspot.com ) and his impressive inline hockey exploits is enough stimuli.  Marra demands more investment in the arts, specifically a mention of her 4 night per week of dancing.

Marra would trade one paragraph about obtaining her driver’s license if Thomas would agree to exclude even a sentence about his entre into middle school theater.  Joe would sacrifice a mention of his 50^th birthday for a reduced emphasis on Lucy’s swim team success.

Marra, Thomas and Lucy are in agreement that their entitlements should represent a large portion of the final letter.

If the letter doesn’t get finished by year end, there is always the possibility of a continuing resolution that kicks the hard letter content choices past the December 24^th deadline.  It’s been done before but frankly, we all expect the same tired arguments to slow the process a year from now.

Next year, maybe decisions on the content of this letter will have to go to a Super Committee.  That will solve this mess.

You’d think the parties could at least agree to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year by the deadline.  Nothing is simple anymore in Washington or with the Sherriers.

Jets Ask, "Where was God?"

The tragedy that is the 2012 New York Jets football team can be blamed on one indisputable reason: the systematic removal of God from the football fields of America.

So says third string quarterback/special teams utility player, Tim Tebow.  On ESPN’s Sports is My Religion program, Tebow said during an interview that had God been more welcome within the NFL, the carnage of horrific Jet defeats week after week might have been avoided.  

Host George Foreman, himself an ordained minister and veteran of sports violence, asked Tebow directly if the Jets’ tragedy can be blamed on secular forces within the NFL.

"Well, you know, it's an interesting thing,” he began.  “We ask why there is violence against us but we have systematically removed God from MetLife Stadium and other NFL venues. Should we be so surprised that the football field would become a place of carnage, particularly for our anemic offense?”

Tebow described the culture of the Jets locker room as a den of inequity, a place where God would not be welcomed and embraced.  If God was not welcomed there, he suggested, why would He show up on Sundays to support the team?

“He sucks,” said super fan Fireman Ed when reached by phone.  “How could he say that God has been removed from Jets games?  I hear God’s name being shouted out left and right whenever the offensive line allows another sack or the corners drop an easy interception.  I’ve heard God and Jesus shouted more this season than ever before, and that includes during the Rich Kotite era.”

Roger Goddell, who actually has the name of God within his own name, chastised Tebow for his comments about the Jets’ massacre.

“Contrary to myth, players can pray before, during, and after games, so long as it's not disruptive to the fan experience. They can say grace before meals, they can invite teammates to religious services, and they can form post-season religious clubs.  All of this is legal right now, under existing law and court precedents, and suggesting that anyone has tried to "systematically remove" God from New York Jets’ facilities or any other team facilities is just plain wrong.  I may fine the punk, just because I can.”

Some fans disagree with Tebow and think that the absence of God is not to blame for the Jets’ 2012 disaster.  These fans contend that the Jets needed to be armed with weapons to fight back.

“If the Jets had been armed like the other teams coming at them, they might have had a chance,” argued Vinnie Della Ducca, a local Secaucus bookie.  “As it was, they were too easy to victimize.  The other teams coming to play the Jets, they knew Tebow and his boys couldn’t fight back.  How horrible for the fans that had to hide and listen while their team was defeated over and over.  They may never recover emotionally.”

Tebow did say that His God was a Merciful God and would comfort the team and its fans in their darkest hour of all-too-familiar postseason mourning. 

"You know, God didn’t play football. He didn't go to college for free memorabilia and complimentary tattoos. But God will be there in the form of a lot people with hugs and with therapy and a whole lot of ways in which I think he will be involved in the aftermath of this lost Jets season.  Mainly, His Hand will be involved in the mercy firing Rex Ryan and finding a new team for Mark Sanchez.” 

Politically, Tebow's comments have been lambasted as the final verbal throws of a failed career in New York, a desperate Hail Mary of spiritual excuses.  Many are accusing him of exploiting the violent tragedy of a Jets’ season to push a bogus culture war agenda.  His critics point out that Tebow is probably using God as an excuse for his inability to throw a 15 yard out with any accuracy or velocity.

Tebow supporters, however, think he is on to something.

“If you watched the Jets-Titans game on Monday night, you cannot tell me that God was present.  That muffed snap at the end of the game was the work of Satan, no question,” cried Joe Willie Namath, himself an agent of secular debauchery and a sinner of great renown. 

  

“How about a little kiss?” he slobbered.

Namath finally added, “If God felt welcome at professional football games, one thing is certain – the Cowboys would never win another game.”

Mourning in America

Given the way American politics function, here is what I expect to read on January 1, 2013:

Economy Falls Off Cliff; Nation Mourns

Unable to reach an agreement on tax increases and spending cuts for the coming fiscal year, the U.S. economy fell off the fiscal cliff today, hurling head first into the abyss of a recession.  The economy is not expected to recover from its injuries.

Congressional Democrats immediately made public statements to denounce the violence against our economy and vowed to introduce legislation “in the near future” to combat future cliff dives.

“The fall over fiscal cliff was entirely preventable if we would have had the political courage to take steps that most Americans agree do not infringe on individual rights,” said Rep. Nancy Pelosi.  “We must not be cowed by special interest at this time of national tragedy.  We must act, and the innocent victims of this senseless economic attack demand that we act.”

Rep. Pelosi read the names aloud of the victims of the fiscal cliff in a solemn ceremony in the House chamber.

“Medicaid recipients…the elderly…the unemployed…residents of California…employees of Lockheed Martin…”

Republican Speaker John Boehner took offense to Pelosi’s grandstanding, calling her statements  “shameless politicizing” when we should be joining together to mourn the untimely end of our nation’s economic growth. 

“It is too soon to be suggesting legislative remedies to this tragedy when families are still openly grieving the loss of government support and government contractors are grieving the loss of lucrative contracts for obsolete military hardware.  Emotions are too raw,” he said through visible tears, “and we need a sufficient period of reflection before moving forward on fiscal cliff solutions.  I mean, our economy has only been buried for one day.”

Sen. Mitch McConnell chimed in from the Senate chamber and expressed his belief that the Democrats were exploiting the economic tragedy solely for partisan gain.

“It is a sadly predictable knee-jerk reaction to any event like this from the Democrats – ‘we need different laws’.  Well, I say that if every citizen was armed with the pride of rugged individualism that comes from self-employment, we wouldn’t need different laws.  No one would dare threaten an American with a fiscal cliff if they knew that every American was carrying his own weight.”

Democrats countered that enforcing laws already on the books would be acceptable to them, if that included the expiration of the Bush tax cuts for high earners that were schedule by law to end December 31, 2012. 

Some legislators were willing in the wake of the economic carnage to consider reasonable changes to existing law.  One such proposal included a ban on verbal assaults on those who suggest an increase to the retirement age or an increase in the top tax rate to Clinton-era levels.  The Verbal Assault ban has never garnered more than a handful of votes in Congress, but now that the economy has fallen off the cliff, proponents are optimistic that a ban has momentum.

Republicans disagreed.

“It’s too soon to talk about that.  Democrats are so insensitive.  This economic catastrophe deserves a dignified period of bereavement.”

Democrats disagreed.

“When is it ever the right time to talk about these issues?  We think it best to talk now, before another fiscal year is sacrificed needlessly over the cliff.   We owe it to our children.”

Grieving citizens, including the families of the victims of the economic calamity, started a makeshift memorial outside the Capitol in Washington, DC, placing paystubs from former jobs and stacks of mortgage delinquency notices on the steps.  Pictures of those missing since the national fall off of the cliff were hung on lampposts across Constitution Avenue.

Said one despondent mourner, “It didn’t have to be this way.  U.S. economy, we will miss you.”

Congressional talks with the White House are expected to resume on solving this issue after a series of memorial services are held for the first victims - responsibility, fairness and common sense.

We Interrupt This Program...

Our media culture is here to protect our delicate psyches in this time of national tragedy.  God bless you, Hollywood sensibilities.

Paramount Pictures is postponing the Pittsburgh premiere of the new Tom Cruise action film, "Jack Reacher."  Apparently, this movie opens with a disturbing scene of violence perpetrated by a man with a sniper rifle.  In this regard, it is indistinguishable from dozens of other movies, television shows, video games, or commercials shown during the Super Bowl.

The studio statement includes the sincere sentiment, “Our hearts go out to all those who lost loved ones."  The studio also hopes that the public comes to see the movie in droves, but that was left unstated.  It is assumed.

The movie will eventually be released, and millions will enjoy the simulated opening scene carnage from the security of their stadium style movie seat.  Oops, forgot – movie seats are no longer secure or safe.

Television executives have temporarily found their hearts as well.  To demonstrate their humanity, the Fox network will not air original episodes of "Family Guy" and "American Dad" this week. The episodes -- "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" from "Family Guy" and "Minstrel Krampus" from "American Dad" -- will instead be replaced by reruns.  The reruns promise not to be funny out of respect for the victims.  Apparently the original episodes were deemed potentially insensitive, which is curious since the program’s raison d’etre is to be insensitive.  Being insensitive post-Newtown is insensitive.

The Syfy channel opted not to air its latest new episode of "Haven," which featured scenes of violence in a high school. One week ago, this program would have aired without a hint of remorse from any of the producers.  Not one child would have been shocked by the content last week.

I should be fair.  These shows and movies and games and songs do not cause violence.  Many of these pieces of entertainment air across the globe and are seen in countries with far less mass violence than we enjoy here in the states.  The arts are more reflective of society than creators of it.  ‘Don’t shoot the messengers’, as it were. 

It does bother me, however, that once the emotional scar tissue has sufficiently hardened across our national mood, these programs and movies with scenes that desensitize a complicit public will be back.  After an appropriate “grieving”, Hollywood will be back to its regularly scheduled programming.  Autopsies will be performed during the 8 o’clock hour on network TV.  Zombies will be beheaded during basic cable marathons.  The blood will again flow unabated.  Nothing will change – because our society won’t change, at least not overnight.

Changing society to be again disgusted by the gore and the blood that visits our living rooms and mobile devices every day will be hard to legislate out of existence.  Free speech, blah, blah, blah.  But we can turn off the extra violent stuff for more than a week, can’t we?  Please tell me we can.

The media doesn’t cause violence and shouldn’t be blamed when it creeps into our lives.  But I think we’ve had enough extra programming around the topics of murder and maiming for a while.  At least I have.

Afraid of Next Time

I have a habit.  I compulsively look at the national news headlines dozens of times each day.  This habit started on September 11, 2001 when I, along with millions of others across the globe, hit the refresh button on the PC screen every few seconds.  This was our only connection to the unspeakable scenes that were unfolding in New York and DC.  I needed to know what was happening.  I was worried for my family, for my friends, for myself.  Eventually, this became generalized worry.  The world is a scary, unpredictable place and my surfing confirms that every day. 

  

11 years later, I refresh the national news so often because, first and foremost, I have a dumb phone and no way to automatically set up my life for instant news alerts.  The other reason is because I have that nagging feeling every day that something awful could happen in the world, and if it does, I want to know right away.  I might have to run.  I might have to duck under my desk.  I might have to rescue my kids.  I might have to save my family.

There is an irrational belief that I can control the randomness of it all if only I could know about the events as soon as they occur.  “Information will protect me from the unknown”, I think.  As a child, fear of the dark is relieved by turning on the light.  So kids combat fear with a click of the light switch. 

  

So I click and click the mouse.  I don’t spend much time on the news site, just enough to scan if anything changed since my last click – an earthquake, a tsunami, a bomb, a man dressed in camouflage or all black colors wielding a gun with a high capacity magazine and a mental disorder.  I don’t know why I need to know right away but I do.  Ever since 9/11. 

Today we have all read about the school shooting in Connecticut, and many of us spent part of our afternoons hitting refresh, looking for more information.  I sure did.  Unfortunately, the information I was looking for was an answer to the question “Why?”  When children are killed in this manner, I know in my mind that I could click all day long and never find that answer.  CNN can’t tell me.  Fox News and MSNBC don’t know.  Oprah will never know.  I can’t even guess.  I’d rather not think about it at all, but I habitually click nonetheless.  It’s a habit.  

My heart hurts for these people in Connecticut whom I do not know, whom I have never met, whom I will never meet.  Their pain is beyond what I can imagine.  Mostly my heart hurts because I worry that the more I click, the closer this violence and randomness comes to me, to my family, to my friends.

   

I click because it could happen to anyone and I want fair warning if it’s coming near me.  I click to be reassured that it isn’t me, or my family, or my friends in the headlines this time.  

Portland, OR.  Aurora, CO.  Oak Creek, WI.  Newtown, CT.  

What a sad, sad day.